Manny: Hey, have you seen Néstor?
Gloria: I sent him off. Nobody's taking anyone's money today.
Manny: Oh, I didn't need that much from him. I just need to reshoot the end of my thesis film. The special effects are weak, and Prague was clearly faked.

Gloria: What the hell are you talking about?
Manny: Néstor. His family's loaded. I looked him up.
Gloria: [gasps] He's a Berellez? They own a soccer team, 12 hotels, and five judges!

Cameron: Okay, I want them gone.
Mitchell: Even if you mean kill them, I'm in.
Cameron: I mean, what are we supposed to do? Spend the next six months with our drapes closed, like Pepper after one of his cheek implants fell? Speaking of Picasso.
Mitchell: How are we supposed to get out of this?
Cameron: Move out west. That's what those towns are for... disappearin'.
Mitchell: We live a mile from the ocean. What town?

Phil: I feel like I got the buckles wrong. Does this straitjacket look right on me?
Alex: More and more.

Gloria: Sonia, I have very bad news to tell you.
Sonia: Let me get Néstor. He's my rock. Néstor!
Gloria: Ay, what happened to my independent sister that I admired so much because she needed no man?
Sonia: Where... is he?
Gloria: Well, I thought he was a gold digger, so I chased him out.
Sonia: You did what?!
Gloria: But the silver lining is that you still have all your money!
Sonia: What money? I don't have any money!
Gloria: What do you mean? The money from the hot-sauce business that you're doing so well.
Sonia: No, it was all a lie. I just didn't want him to be suspicious. Look, I'm wearing aluminum earrings! They're turning my ears green! Ay! It took me two years to land that rich, beautiful moron. Where am I going to get that kind of money?! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, I tripped! Someone call a lawyer!
Gloria: You didn't trip.
Sonia: Yes, I did! Look! [pours drink] Uh, the floor is all wet.
Gloria: Sonia, that didn't work at the Princess Cruise ship, and it's not going to work here.

Sonia: Every time I try to get my life together, you always ruin it for me. You owe me a rich husband.
Gloria: I'll find you one. There are plenty of old, rich men around here that would do anything that you say.
Jay: Some of them can still hear.
Sonia: Oh. Who's this?
Jay: Oh. He's, um... He's the best hedge guy in town. Congratulate him. He just got a new plane.
Sonia: Ohh. A hedge guy. Fascinating. And how did you get started in that business?
Vic: I bought the clippers.
Sonia: [gasps] Wow! And where are you going, dressed so nice?
Vic: A wedding.
Sonia: Ohh, I love weddings.
Vic: Would you like to accompany me?
Sonia: I would love to! And can we take your plane?
Vic: Yeah, sure.

Haley: My babies! Hey! I feel like I haven't seen you all day! Did you have fun today?
Dylan: Well, that's easy to find out. Let me just upload this baby cam footage.
Alex: The what... what was that? Hmm?
Haley: Oh, one of their buttons is actually a camera. It's not the greatest quality, but...
Dylan: Wait, you took my babies to a liquor store?!
Luke: No, it's the... it's the wine museum.
Haley: It's Ace Liquor, Luke. I've been going there since I was 15... minutes past my 21st birthday.

Haley: Wow. I was so happy you all wanted time with the babies today, because lately, it has felt like you didn't even want to be bothered with them. Turns out you only want to help when it can help you. Part of me wonders why we even stay here.
Alex: Because you eat and live here for free?
Haley: I said "part."

Brad: Oh, hey, speaking of art, you're so lucky to live right around the corner from the museum. Who was your favorite artist in the postimpressionist show?
Cameron: Uh... Uh, w... I mean, gun to my head? I would say...
Brad: Gauguin, perhaps?
Cameron: To the exhibit? Yes. In a heartbeat. Uh, you know, actually, I'm thinking about going today. Would you guys care to join?

Phil: Okay, who'd like to help me with a magic trick? [Luke and Claire hide again] Alex. Great. Now, uh, take this dove... Try not to rile her up. She's about to spend the better part of an hour in my pants.