Pepper Saltzman Quotes Page 3 of 8
Quote from Boys' Night
Jay: Hey, "Walk Like a Man."
Pepper: Well, I can sing it, but I can't do it. [sings the high-pitched intro] I think I just pulled something.
Jay: Nurse!
Quote from Boys' Night
Jay: [answering phone] Yeah.
Pepper: Yeah? Woof. Not a morning person. Good to know. Listen, I'm five away. I hope you like blueberry scones and Dusty Springfield.
Jay: Who is this?
Pepper: Pepper, silly. It's gonna be a scorcher in the desert today, so dress accordingly. Oh, this is your street. See you in a minute.
Quote from A Slight at the Opera
[As Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle plays":]
Mitchell: I should have golfed with you sooner, dad.
Jay: I never made the time.
Phil: Luke!
Pepper: I need to call my son. What time is it in Damascus? Ugh. Why don't I just draw them a map?
Quote from The Help
Pepper: Every wedding is unique, like a snowflake. [Mitchell gasps] And my job is to give you the snowflake that makes everyone die with jealousy.
Cameron: That's all we ever wanted.
Quote from The Help
Cameron: We can consider purple. This is just a lot for us to take in.
Pepper: Of course. I get it. I Let the idea wash over you for a bit.
Ronaldo: We had also discussed a more neutral palette.
Pepper: Ronaldo! They're washing! [to Mitchell and Cameron] I'm sorry. He means well.
Quote from The Help
Pepper: Now, let's talk about your entrance.
Cameron: Yes. Entrance.
Pepper: The idea of two men being able to marry seemed like a fantasy, so I see you riding down the purple aisle on a... Unicorn.
Quote from The Wedding (Part 1)
Cameron: Good morning, almost husband.
MI:Good morning, almost- Oh, no! No!
Cameron: Oh! Oh!
Pepper: Oh, calm down. This can't be the first time you've woken up with other men in your bedroom.
Quote from The Wedding (Part 1)
Ronaldo: The car will pick you up at 4:00 to whisk you away to your beautiful hilltop wedding.
Cameron: How's the weather? I had a dream it rained on everyone.
Pepper: Dry as a bone. The only thing it will be raining tonight is men.
Quote from The Wedding (Part 2)
Cameron: We've waited 10 years. Can we please have an hour?
Fireman: I can give you 30 minutes.
Pepper: We can make that work! The wedding will go on just in a slightly pared-down version. Claire, you're up front. Flower girl, strewing. Grooms, come with me. "Ooh! Ahh! They look so handsome!" Quartet, quartet, quartet! And cue Sal. Start after your limerick.
Sal: Oh, god, no!
Pepper: Ugh! We're all making sacrifices, dear. I have a Prius full of monarch butterflies who are apparently coming home with me.
Quote from The Wedding (Part 2)
Pepper: Everyone, attention, please! I've been informed by the fire chief we need to leave immediately! The winds have shifted!
Cameron: What? But w-we have 30 minutes! A fellow wedding facilitator has informed me a beautiful space just became available. To the shuttles!
Mitchell: But we don't know a thing about this place.
Pepper: Oh, my mistake. Let's go over it. It's a quaint, rustic spot, though its chief selling point is it's not about to become a kiln!
Mitchell: To the shuttles!