‘Mother's Day’
Season 2, Episode 21 - Aired May 4, 2011
On Mother's Day, Claire and Gloria take their kids on a hike, revealing a few home truths. Cameron is upset that Mitchell thinks of him as the "mother" in their family. Meanwhile, Phil notices Jay crying as they cook one of his mother's recipes.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] Honestly, I'm a little offended that he accused me of that. I'm actually very sensitive to that issue. Like I would ever treat my partner as a woman.
[montage:]
Claire: I Somebody got new curtains.
Mitchell: Well, Mrs. Pritchett loves to shop.
[cut]
Mitchell: Oh! We're never gonna be done by 6:00. I better call home. The wife's not gonna like this.
[back:]
Mitchell: Sometimes I think he just wants to be mad at me.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: I can't eat.
Mitchell: Okay, you know what? If you can't accept the nice gesture, then just forget it. [to Lily] Okay, scratch the balloons. She is in a mood.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] I asked Claire what she wanted for Mother's Day and she said, "Take a hike." It's not like that. She's just bananas for walking around in nature. So she and Gloria are taking the kids up the canyon and Jay and I are throwing on the aprons and preparing a Mother's Day feast. It's- It's gonna be fun.
Quote from Claire
Alex: How much farther?
Claire: Well, I'd like to go far enough that we can't still see our car in the parking lot.
Quote from Haley
Haley: I'm getting dust in my mouth.
Gloria: You have to appreciate nature.
Claire: Yes.
Gloria: Soon this will be the mall.
Haley: I'll come then.
Quote from Manny
Alex: I'm hungry.
Luke: I say we eat what we kill.
Manny: Oh, then I guess we'll be eating the mood.
Luke: I don't get you at all.
Manny: I know.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Oh, is that the party over there?
Cameron: I don't know. I'm a woman, remember? I have a terrible sense of direction.
Mitchell: May I remind you that my big crime was making you fluffy pancakes. Okay, I'm getting a little sick of you dwelling on this. It happens to be Mother's Day, not Martyr's Day.
Quote from Luke
Manny: Yeah, that was definitely poison oak. I think this rash is spreading.
Gloria: Ay, Manny, that's not a rash. It's red because you scratch it.
Manny: I just don't want my throat to close.
Luke: Wouldn't be the worst thing.
Quote from Alex
Alex: God, Luke, you're such an idiot.
Luke: At least I don't look like an idiot.
Alex: What does that mean?
Haley: Your hat. It looks like you walked under a bird that poops ugly hats.
Manny: Can we watch the language?
Alex: There's nothing else to watch.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Gloria and I are gonna go finish this beautiful hike together while you sit here and think about how selfish and thoughtless you've been. Come on.
Alex: If we're thoughtless, how can we think?
Claire: You just lost your water. Let's go.