Cameron: All right. There we go, Cal. hew the peanut butter. See? Now, with editing, we can make it look like he's saying anything we want: numbers, the alphabet, a joke about Jewish people. Pam loves those.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Movie tricks come easy to me. You know, clowns being naturals at deception.
Mitchell: It's true. A couple months into dating, Cam told me he was a clown, did a little performance for me, and I... I did feel deceived.

Phil: Exciting to be in the competition, huh? Instead of sitting up in the bleachers, like the last three years?
Luke: I guess.
Phil: Scary, sure, but it does feel good putting our butts on the line. You lose 100% of the hot-dog-eating contests you don't enter.
Luke: Dad, I know what your bumper sticker is, and I know what you're trying to do here.

Jay: "Thomas Jefferson, who was sort of the grand marshal of his time, believed this country should be a place where people are free to pursue happiness and a better life, where we can set our sights on the stars and, with hard work and determination make the impossible a reality. Because Americans don't run from challenges. We embrace them. God bless America. Hold for applause." That would've killed, right?
Joe: Bravo!
Jay: You know, I gave up a lot today. You could mean it.

Lily: [on the phone] Yeah. I've got time to help you.
Mitchell: Oh, look at your cousin being so sweet and helping out a friend.
Lily: Ugh! Such a weak little coward. Are we done yet?
Manny: No. It's a really big bridge.
Lily: Or maybe you're just a really tiny man.

Mitchell: I wonder...
Cameron: Go on. I'm in.
Mitchell: Is it possible to shoot him in a way that makes him look better than he is?
Cameron: Oh, honey, are you kidding? Vin Diesel's a movie star. Anything's possible with editing.

Phil: What do you got there?
Luke: Oh, just choosing some classes for college. This one looks interesting. "In this intensive"... Nope.

Luke: I felt something tear inside.
Phil: Push through it. You'll thank me when you start to feel the gorger's high.

Luke: Aah! What the hell?!
Phil: Oh, is the hot dog making you angry? An angry stomach is 12% larger. Boo!

Phil: I think we've got a real shot to take down Rhonda and Thandie Hodak.
Luke: But they're undefeated.
Phil: I guess that makes us "under-dogs."

Alex: Can I get in on that floor bagel?
[aside to camera:]
Claire: Alex decided to take off some time earlier this summer, and, like everything else she does, she did it a little too well.