Jay: Now, let me do the talking.
Phil: Good. I don't feel like talking. It's just you nurture a dream for 30 years, only to see it go up in flames like Pete's eyebrow. I feel like a part of-
Jay: This is you not talking?

Mitchell: Seriously, the roof? I've been looking for you everywhere.
Cameron: I just needed some space and some fresh air. [inhales] It smells so purple.

Ben: Uh, hey, so, small problem.
Gloria: It can wait! Every problem can wait. So now go, mister.
Ben: Come on, I've been in your home.
Claire: All right, Ben. What is it?
Ben: Today's Margaret's birthday, but it was too late to cancel the cake. Everyone saw it get delivered.
Claire: It's fine. Let them eat cake. [all groan]
Dom: Is she kidding?
Claire: That's not what I meant!

Claire: I realize that the optics are a bit troubling, especially today.
Kevin: A day when you've been sipping champagne while we've gone over an hour without snacks.
Gloria: Enough! You should all be ashamed of yourselves. How long have I known you people? Dom, Kenny, Josie, the two Herms.
Ben: Seriously?
Gloria: You all go home at 5:00. This woman never punches out. She goes home and never sleeps because she's thinking how to make this company better. Can't you tell what a mess she has become? How tense she is, her awkward tics, the way she grinds her teeth to dust. I think that she deserves some pampering. So now get out of here!

Lily: [timer dings] Please tell me that's dinner. I'm starving.
Mitchell: No, that's Daddy's alarm. We can't let him nap for more than two hours because of the concussion. Oh, look at him. He looks so peaceful. He's had such a rough day. When I tried to wake him up last time, he got so upset.
Lily: I'll do it.
Mitchell: Who raised you? Fine, just be gentle, okay? [hands Lily money]
Lily: Thanks. Also, don't touch this. It's my art project.
Mitchell: Oh, can I help you with that?
Lily: No. Daddy said he should because he's more artistic than you.
Mitchell: Okay. [pan banging]
Cameron: What?! What?! Why?!
Mitchell: Oh, good, you're alive.