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Heart Broken

‘Heart Broken’

Season 4, Episode 15 -  Aired February 13, 2013

Ahead of Valentine's Day, Phil and Claire are forced to drop their alter egos, Clive Bixby and Juliana, when Claire collapses and has to go to the hospital. Gloria and Jay are hoping to finally be together again on Valentine's Day, but they keep getting interrupted. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitch over-imbibe at their Lonely Hearts party and they pay for it the morning after.

Quote from Haley

Phil: What the hell is going on?!
Haley: Dad? What are you doing home?
Phil: So this is how it is? We're gone for a minute, and you guys throw a party?
Haley: No!
Luke: Just texted mom we're having a good time at the movies. It works every t--aah!
Phil: So this is a regular thing?
Haley: No!
Alex: You know the drill. Coolers out b-aaa-ack!


Quote from Luke

Phil: Enough! Turn off the music. Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now! I don't want to get upset. I've been through enough tonight.
Haley: What happened?
Phil: I'm not supposed to tell you.
Alex: When you say it like that, we make it worse in our heads.
Phil: Fine. It's no big deal. Your mother had to go to the hospital.
Haley: Oh, my God!
Luke: What?!
Alex: That is so much worse than it would be in our heads!
Phil: She's fine. She just passed out a little. Something to do with her heart.
Haley: Like a heart attack?!
Alex: Mom had a heart attack?!
Luke: Mom almost died of a heart attack?!

Quote from Phil

Claire: Phil, everything okay?
Phil: Fine! I'm coming! [to the kids] Just act like everything's normal. Oh, and if, uh, two Cambodian guys show up, send them to our bedroom.

Quote from Claire

Phil: That is not what I said. Kids, everything is fine.
Haley: Call 9-1-1!
Alex: Oh, God!
Luke: Her heart exploded!
Phil: Oh, my God! I did it again!
Claire: Phil, it's your nose!

Quote from Claire

Claire: This is the one thing, the one thing I ask from you is not to make a big deal of this, and you couldn't even do that.
Phil: Honey, you need to stay calm.
Claire: No, I don't, because I am fine. We are all fine.
Alex: Oh, God. [collapses]
Claire: Haley, revive your sister.

Quote from Phil

Claire: It was kind of scary.
Phil: Of course.
Claire: Until I knew what it was, and then-
Phil: Don't ruin it. I just have one more question. Did it hurt?
Claire: Well, I blacked out before I-
Phil: When you fell from heaven?
Claire: Nailed it.

Quote from Gloria

Jay: I got a ticket running a red light, so let's make this worth it. Put the kid down.
Gloria: I can't. He's being a real Pritchett.
Jay: We need to come up with a different term for that.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Where were all these distractions the night that Joe was conceived?

Quote from Manny

Manny: Best day ever! I just got invited to a Valentine's party by a secret admirer!
Gloria: You should go.
Jay: Sounds great! Go!
Manny: I obviously need to get dressed first.
Jay: Can you keep it under a half-hour?
Manny: You're funny.

Quote from Manny

Jay: What's with the hat?
Manny: My secret admirer requested I wear a hat with a feather in it. I'm like, "Which one?"
Jay: Really? This secret admirer have any other requests?
Manny: Uh, yes. She asked me to bring some poetry to recite at the party.
Jay: Uh-uh. These, uh, kids at the party, they wouldn't be the popular ones by any chance?
Manny: The most popular. Why?
Jay: No reason. Just have fun.
Manny: I will.

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