‘Haley's 21st Birthday’
Season 6, Episode 10 - Aired December 10, 2014
As Haley celebrates her twenty-first birthday at a bar with her family, Claire decides she wants her daughter to see her as a friend, Mitchell and Cameron realize they're not the cool young things they once were, and Jay disrupts Phil's quick stop at a car dealership to pick up Haley's gift. Elsewhere, Alex, Luke and Manny are stunned when Lily asks them where babies come from.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Aw, it's so nice what you two are doing. My mother would have never taken me out for a drink.
Haley: Why? Was she super strict?
Gloria: No, she would never see me as an adult. Well, except when the police came to the house. Then, she would be like, "Gloria, you go talk to them. Tell them your father was here last night. But unbutton your shirt a little bit first."
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Sorry that took so long. We got trapped by those bridesmaids over there.
Cameron: Yeah. That's what happens when you bring gay guys to a straight club. We're like catnip to drunken bachelorette party girls.
Mitchell: The problem is, they can get a little bit clingy.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [aside to camera] Tonight, while Claire gets things started at the bar, Jay is taking me to pick up Haley's birthday present: a new car!
Claire: Phil shopped around, found something very safe and low-maintenance with lots of good reviews.
Phil: Till I married her. [laughs] I'm joking! You're not low-maintenance! I doubled down.
Claire: Oh, I heard you.
Quote from Lily
Lily: Do you know where babies come from?
Alex: Lily, I'm studying.
Lily: Are you a nerd?
Alex: No. Why would you ask me that?
Lily: It's Friday night, and you're doing homework.
Alex: It's my senior year. Trust me, Lily, there'll be tons of fun Friday nights in my future with artists, dignitaries, other scientists.
Lily: I didn't hear "boyfriend."
Quote from Lily
Lily: Hey, guys, do you know where babies come from?
Manny: Lily, that's not an appropriate question.
Lily: Come on. Do you know or not?
Manny: Uh, yes. The stork brings them.
Lily: This dork?
Manny: Good stuff.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Okay, we can't wait any longer. We are dying to give you our present!
Haley: Guys, I said no gifts.
Mitchell: No, you said no gifts under $100.
Haley: Oh, did I? Gimme.
Cameron: It's just a little something from your supercool guncles.
Haley: Okay!
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: I cannot believe Haley didn't like the shoes.
Claire: Oh, come on. Of course she did.
Cameron: No, she most certainly did not. She gave us the high voice. "They're cute!" I know the voice. I invented the voice. I use the voice.
Mitchell: Wait. So, I can't pull off mid-thigh shorts?
Cameron: No, you can. Pull them off and give them to somebody 20 years younger.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Come on. Haley, let me in.
Haley: Okay, fine. So we were laughing because we were playing "Would you rather?"
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Cameron: What's that?
Haley: And I said, "Would you rather marry George Clooney or have the best sex of your life for just one night with Tom Hardy?"
Mitchell: Who's that?
Cameron: I don't know. Google him.
Claire: I'm going with Tom because George would just want to talk about politics all the time and Tom seems like he would quietly get the job done.
Gloria: That's exactly what Haley said!
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Oh. Let's show them what we got.
Mitchell: Hey, real quick what have we got?
Cameron: Um, well, I can raise the roof and do the cabbage patch.
Mitchell: Okay, and I can do the "single lady" hand thing.
Cameron: Yeah, but put your neck into it or you just look like the Queen waving.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: What happened?
Mitchell: Oh, my god. Stop. We're gancient.