Previous Episode Next Episode 
Grab It

‘Grab It’

Season 8, Episode 6 -  Aired November 9, 2016

Jay is worried when Phil considers becoming a member of his country club. When Alex wants to attend a lecture by a successful businesswoman and mother, Claire thinks her daughter is trying to follow in her footsteps. Meanwhile, Mitchell is upset when Cameron drags him to an interactive theater event.

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: Yeah, who could forget how he courageously showed up to our 25th and then and then died in front of all of us.
Cameron: No, I'm about to die right now.
Mitchell: Mm-hmm, in fact, I I remember his death went a little something like like this. I've lived a long life.
Cameron: Mitchell, what are you doing?
Mitchell: Many friends. Oh, my beautiful Bess. [coughs] Even [coughs] took a trip to Washington, D. C. , and had my picture made with the Congressman. Never had any children, of course. [coughs] Which is why it was so important that I made it here tonight. To see each of you. You are my children! And I want to leave you [coughs] with this one last thing. Do not go gentle- Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage! Rage against the dying of the light!
Cameron: And I don't feel good either.
Mitchell: Yeah, good save.


Quote from Claire

Haley: Find anything on "Grab It" lady?
Claire: "Nancy Decker lawsuit" nope. "Nancy Decker nose job" nope. "Nancy Decker kills" Oh! " at CEO comedy night."

Quote from Alex

Claire: Honey, I'm so sorry about the way I was tonight.
Alex: It's okay. I actually got to go backstage and meet Nancy. She invited a few of us out for coffee.
Claire: Oh, fun.
Alex: Yeah, no, uh, not fun, actually. All she did was talk about herself. It really just seemed like she wanted an audience. And when the check came, you know what she didn't do? Grab it.

Quote from Jay

Judge Lewis: Sauna over here. Hot tub that way. Legend has it that the holes in the individual shower partitions were cigar holders.
Jay: At least that's the story we're sticking to.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Listen, Phil, I can't do this.
Phil: You're leaving me here?!
Jay: No, I can't have you at this club! This is my place, damn it.
Phil: No!
Jay: I'm sorry, Phil. Can't you find another club? I mean, look at my life. I mean, I built my house, and before I even lived in it, I got married. And that's fantastic. And then I have my study, where I can close the door and have a glass of Scotch. And now it's Joe's room, and that's fantastic. But this is the only place I have left that I don't have to share with my family.
Phil: [gasps] I don't want to be that guy, but did you send that text yet?
Jay: The one place I feel special they call me "Ace" and "Jay Boy" and "Pritch." I'm not comfortable other places, okay? But you you fit in everywhere. The whole world is your club! But I have this place! You get that, right?
[Phil slides down the glass window as he collapses to the floor]
[aside to camera:]
Jay: Maintenance arrived one minute later and packed him in ice from the seafood bar, and he was as good as new.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [bouncing] This is living, huh?
Jay: How long do we have this thing for?
Phil: Only three hours. You saw the sign. Every bounce counts!

 Page 3