‘Grab It’
Season 8, Episode 6 - Aired November 9, 2016
Jay is worried when Phil considers becoming a member of his country club. When Alex wants to attend a lecture by a successful businesswoman and mother, Claire thinks her daughter is trying to follow in her footsteps. Meanwhile, Mitchell is upset when Cameron drags him to an interactive theater event.
Quote from Gloria
Manny: I had the most humiliating experience of my entire life. I may never leave this house again.
Gloria: Okay, you're just tired. I'm gonna make you an espresso, and you go back.
Manny: No, I can't go back there.
Gloria: Did you get in trouble again for adjusting the lighting? You're still young. You can take a bright bulb.
Quote from Manny
Manny: I was flirting with Ava Morris, and I walked into a coffee table and hit my shin really hard and started crying in front of everyone. Bad enough but then I noticed I spilled my drink on my crotch area, creating a very incriminating stain. I ran to the bathroom and started drying it with a towel, but the door swung open, and I was viewed by my classmates vigorously attending to my groin. Oh, and did I mention the picture of Ava's grandmother water skiing in a bikini that was directly in my eye-line?
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] Alex is not my most expressive child, but when she enrolled in a business class and then signed up for a lecture series called "Meet the She-E-O," it was pretty clear to me what she was trying to say "I admire you, Mom."
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] A mother knows how to read between the lines. Alex's mouth may have said, "You're embarrassing me." But her heart was saying, "You're inspiring me." "Leave me alone." "Show me the way." "Are you still talking?" "Never stop rocking."
Quote from Claire
Claire: I've got a just a quick comment. Um, I also raised three children, and I am the She-E-O of a large company. And I got to say, it's like looking a mirror, Nancy.
Nancy Decker: That's great. What's the company?
Claire: Pritchett's Closets and Blinds.
Nancy Decker: You sell closets and blinds? I could understand shutters and blinds or closets and-
Claire: We're good, Nancy. What I wanted to talk about was how on page 1 of your book, you say you had hard time not bringing your work home.
Nancy Decker: That was just a joke. As you remember, my business was started in my garage.
Claire: Ah. So, you know how it's not just family time that matters. It's quality family time.
Nancy Decker: I agree. That's why I home-school all three of my children. The conference table in our boardroom actually rests on their play structure. What am I saying? Stand up, kids? [Chuckles.]
All: Aww!
Claire: So, three daddies?
Alex: You sound insane!
Quote from Jay
Jay: Listen. You need one more move to drive this home, and I'm thinking, what does Phil bring to the party no else does? Magic.
Phil: Are you sure? I'm a little rusty.
Jay: My money's on you. Go big, then go home.
Phil: Sounded like you said...
Jay: Hey, everybody! Phil's gonna do a little magic trick for you.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Okay, uh, this one is for all of the lawyers in the room because you're so good at making our money disappear. Oh, hold on. Um Congressman Morley, enough with the taxes. You don't see us making you pay through the nose. Okay, hold on. Nobody move, I got this!
[Phil trips, accidentally pulls tablecloth without disturbing the items on the tables]
All: [laughter, applause]
[aside to camera: Jay is lost for words]
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Okay, that is it! You don't want to go to sleep! And you don't want to go to the party! Then I'm canceling the night time!
Manny: Mom?
Gloria: You heard me. It's tomorrow. We're going to school. Wait for me in the car.
Manny: [on the phone] Hey, Jay. If you get this, please come-
Gloria: No one can help you now!
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: [aside to camera] A shattering depiction of human suffering.
Mitchell: But enough about how I felt.