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Grab It

‘Grab It’

Season 8, Episode 6 -  Aired November 9, 2016

Jay is worried when Phil considers becoming a member of his country club. When Alex wants to attend a lecture by a successful businesswoman and mother, Claire thinks her daughter is trying to follow in her footsteps. Meanwhile, Mitchell is upset when Cameron drags him to an interactive theater event.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Cam wasn't wrong about this. We paid for the whole seat, but we're only using the edge of it.


Quote from Phil

Phil: How's that work?
Luke: You find a member to sponsor you, come have some drinks with the committee, and they vote a few people in.
Phil: Similar process to a secret cheer society I was in. Skull and Pom-Poms. I've said too much already.

Quote from Gloria

Claire: Well, most of being a parent isn't fair. Right now, Alex is obsessed with some CEO business woman author who's basically an older-looking version of me. We're the same age, by the way.
Gloria: You know that Alex look up to you, right?
Claire: Not by anything she says, no.
Gloria: Yeah, they never say it. I guess they think that they're giving the parents too much power. They find little ways to express it. Being a mom is like being a model. You have to learn how to live on crumbs.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Hey, Mom! Have a good day at work.
Claire: Uh, I already did that. It's 3:30.
Alex: How are you just waking up?
Haley: I set my alarm for noon. I must have slept through it.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Oh, by the way, here is the insurance money.
Claire: Thank you.
Alex: A lot of singles in there. What exactly do you do at this club? [chuckles]
Haley: Oh, right. 'Cause I'm a stripper, Alex. [chuckles] Oh, my God, do you really think I'm a stripper?
Phil: No.
Claire: No.

Quote from Haley

Claire: Sweetheart, while I'm very flattered by your sudden interest in business, how about instead of another class, you get a job? Get your hands a little dirty, huh?
Haley: She could run her hands through her hair. That would do it.

Quote from Jay

Phil: Hey, hey, hey! Cramps. Luke and I just split a Beef Wellington and clams casino. Um, I'm wondering if you'd, uh, sponsor me for the new-members thing tonight.
Jay: Gee, I'd like to, but they got rules about relatives sponsoring new members, so-
Anders: No, they don't. I just did it.
Jay: Gee, they must have changed that.
Phil: Oh, great, I'll see you tonight. What time should I be here?
Jay: Oh, I think it starts about 9:30.
Anders: No, it'll be over by then. It starts at 7:00.
Jay: They must have changed that, too.
Phil: Thanks, Jay. See you at 7:00.
Anders: Wait, that was Claire's husband, right?
Jay: Yes, it was, Anders, you stupid ice [bleep].

Quote from Gloria

Manny: Which shirt for the party the canary or the daffodil?
Gloria: We're not doing this again. I just did the herringbone or the tweed for your vest. Just pick one and go.
Manny: [sighs] Okay. Oh, well, this needs ironing.
Gloria: Okay, jump on. Rudolph, to the laundry room!
Joe: Ohh.

Quote from Mitchell

Cameron: I know it's just community theater, but aren't opening nights so exciting?
Mitchell: Yes, the cream of society decked out in their finest flip-flops.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: Okay, what is going on? Why is everyone talking to me?
Cameron: I think they're just being friendly.
Mitchell: Cam, oh, my God. Is is this one of those interactive theater experiences?
Cameron: Oh, do you mean where the audience participates and the line between performer and spectator is delightfully blurred? Mitchell, we're at a high-school reunion!

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