‘Finale Part 1’
Season 11, Episode 17 - Aired April 8, 2020
Mitchell and Cam settle in on their new normal, and Phil and Claire decide that one of the kids needs to move out in order to take control of the house again. Meanwhile, as Gloria becomes more successful at work, she notices Jay, Manny and Joe don't seem to need her as much.
Quote from Manny
Jay: Check this out.
Gloria: Oh, my God!
Jay: [laughs] See? You don't get that reaction from a picture of a dusty guy picking oranges on Sunset Boulevard.
Gloria: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
Joe: But I like my hair!
Gloria: No, not you, sweetie. You're perfect. And no woman will ever deserve you.
Manny: Hey, I don't know if you journal, but you might want to dog-ear today's page for your future therapist.
Quote from Joe
Gloria: Jay, you can't be buying home décor things for gays. Mitch and Cam are going to hate this thing!
Jay: No, they won't. The guys are gonna love it. Just like Joe loves his haircut.
Gloria: Ay. Everybody's gonna think that he has lice.
Joe: I hope not. Bad hygiene is one of Miss September's three biggest turn-offs.
Quote from Luke
Alex: I-I just took a huge salary cut. So it is really not a good time for me to move.
Luke: Me neither. I just took a leave of absence from work to spend more time with my family.
Quote from Dylan
Haley: Well, I have two babies and a special needs husband.
Dylan: It's true. I have a medical condition that requires a room big enough for a giant mattress.
Haley: He sleep-wiggles.
Quote from Alex
Haley: Well, Alex is the one that has the most education.
Alex: [scoffs] I shouldn't be penalized for being smart. I'm not running for president.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, I hope the big earthquake that we're long overdue for doesn't hit while you're down there!
Ronaldo: You're being so negative. What is wrong with you?
Cameron: Okay, look, I have to tell someone, but you cannot repeat it to anyone, especially Mitchell!
Ronaldo: Oh.
Cameron: I just got offered the football job that I wanted in Missouri.
Ronaldo: But you just moved in!
Cameron: I know.
Ronaldo: With a newborn!
Cameron: I know!
Ronaldo: And you were the one pushing for both!
Cameron: I don't need a recap! It's my crisis!
Quote from Ronaldo
Ronaldo: Hello, you two.
Claire: Hi.
Ronaldo: How about a little quiche?
Phil: Oh, how European. [kisses Ronaldo on the cheek] Mwah. Mwah.
Quote from Ronaldo
Claire: [eating mini quiche] Oh, Ronaldo, what's your secret?
Ronaldo: Mm, Cam got offered that coaching job in Missouri, and Pepper got his eighth face lift.
Claire: What?!
Ronaldo: [sighs] I know. We don't buy soup anymore because he can't close his mouth all the way.
Phil: Cam! You got the job!
Claire: And you're moving.
Cameron: Damn it, Ronaldo. Apparently, Pepper's not the only one who can't keep his mouth closed. Go. Serve your little apps.
Quote from Jay
Gloria: It was sweet how Mitch didn't have to think twice about going.
Jay: Well, it's like he said, it's his turn to support Cam. Almost the same thing I'm trying to do for you, except I'm pissing you off.
Gloria: Because you won't do anything the way that I would do it!
Jay: I don't see anyone else complaining.
Gloria: That's the worst part... that nobody needs me. It's 2020. I shouldn't be losing jobs to an old white man.
Jay: When Manny gets homesick, who do you think he's gonna call? When Joe has a nightmare, who does he want? And when I'm sitting here already sad about Mitchell leaving, who do you think I want to walk into this room?
Gloria: Me?
Jay: Of course! And I think I know what's going on here. You're feeling guilty about working. Don't. Do you think I ever felt guilty working while you held down the fort here?
Gloria: You sure didn't.
Jay: No, and now it's time for you to go out into the world and crush it.
Gloria: While you hold down the fort and look pretty?
Jay: Well, I'm not just a sex object. I have other gifts.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Are your brother and sister here? I want to talk about this whole living situation.
Alex: Actually, problem solved. I'm moving to Switzerland.
Claire: What?
Alex: They're transferring my research team there. I get housing and everything. So you're good.
Phil: Like, hot chocolate Switzerland?