Luke: My foot! I think it's backwards!
Phil: It's not backwards.
Man: What happened?
Luke: It's the stupid floors. They're too slippery.
Phil: Oak. Also known as nature's pillow.
Luke: It's like ice.
Phil: Now, let's not start blaming the floors. You shouldn't have been running.
Luke: I saw a ghost.

Mitchell: I'm glad dad's proud of Manny. I am. I just- It would have been nice to see him that proud of us. And by "us," I mean "me."
Claire: [scoffs] And you sincerely thought that the path to dad's approval was going to be through figure skating? Mitchell, I am fairly confident that dad's proudest moment was when you finally took off the flame-red unitard.

Gloria: So, can we take you and Caroline out for ice cream?
Denise: We can't. She's diabetic.
Jay: Of course she is.

Mitchell: Well, that took a while.
Cameron: Well, she's been asleep for 20 minutes. It just took me some time to sneak out without waking her up.
Mitchell: Kind of like the first time you slept over here.
Cameron: I had a meeting. All right, let's talk about why you got your panties in a bunch.

Cameron: So, seeing your dad so proud of Manny didn't stir up any resentment?
Mitchell: Mnh-mnh.
Cameron: Okay. Okay, fine, you always do this. Instead of letting your feelings out, you bury them, and then they bubble up later in hurtful ways.
Mitchell: Okay, you know what, you- Yes, all right. Listen, I might still be holding a little resentment, but that's embarrassing and petty, and it's not a good color on me. It's kind of like you and yellow.
Cameron: You love me in my yellow shirt.
Mitchell: It makes you look like the sun.
Cameron: Okay. Bubbling. Hurtful bubbling. Now you know why I left early that morning.
Mitchell: Ha! I knew you didn't have a meeting, Cam! I knew it!

Phil: Oh! Should have- Should have worn my cup. Should have worn my cup.

Gloria: So take back your sword and go fight this girl like a bull!
Manny: Okay.
Gloria: Can't hear you!
Manny: Okay!
Phil: I can't hear you!
Manny: That's really as loud as I can go.

Phil: And this is the great room, Although "great" hardly seems to do a room like this justice. Weird squiggly painting not included.
Woman: I actually love it.
Phil: I do, too. It's really beautiful.

Cameron: So, there's no part of you that wants to clear the air with your sister?
Mitchell: Nope.
Cameron: Okay, fine. That's your family's way. I'll respect that. But you should know it's hard on the people who love you.

Claire: You want to know why I quit? I quit to protect you.
Mitchell: From what? Glory? Fame?
Claire: No, come on.
Mitchell: Press conferences?
Claire: I was bigger than you. I was bigger than you, and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to lift me. You were- You were dropping me in practice, and I didn't want you to humiliate yourself-
Mitchell: I dropped you twice.
Claire: In front of all of those people.
Mitchell: Three times.
Claire: You dropped me all the time.