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Modern Family: En Garde

‘En Garde’

Season 1, Episode 7 -  Aired November 4, 2009

Jay's enthusiastic support for Manny in a fencing tournament opens an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile, Phil tries to discover Luke's hidden talent.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: [aside to camera] Any monkey can shoot a home movie. I pride myself on shooting home films.
Mitchell: Yeah, but, Cameron, you always just take things a little too far.
Cameron: No, I don't.
Mitchell: Okay, your nephew's first birthday.
Cameron: That's not fair.
Mitchell: You brought a wind machine.
Cameron: To be fair, my vision was-
Mitchell: Cameron, you brought a wind machine!
Cameron: Who puts wheels on cribs?


Quote from Phil

Phil: Yeah, our kids are great.
Claire: They're the greatest.
Phil: Gosh, we're blessed.
Claire: We are. But, um, are they the best at something? I'd have to think about that.
Phil: Well, Alex is great at every single thing she tries, so, you know, she'll find her specialty.
Claire: She will. And- And Haley is...
Phil: Haley is so pretty.
Claire: Gorgeous. Oh, gosh. Gorgeous girl.
Phil: I mean, so, she can meet someone who's the best at something.
Claire: That's right.
Phil: And then, I guess that leaves Luke. We dropped the ball a little bit on that one.
Claire: Yeah, a little bit.

Quote from Alex

Haley: There must be something wrong with this phone. I've rubbed it on my head for, like, an hour.
Claire: What? Alex.
Alex: [chuckles]
Haley: Oh, you're such a geek!
Alex: At least I didn't give myself a bald spot.
Haley: Oh, my god! Mom!
Claire: Alex, don't be mean. Haley, stop making yourself such an easy target.

Quote from Phil

Phil: I have got a good feeling about this. This is gonna be your sport.
Luke: Last year, you said basketball was my sport.
Phil: Look, I've said a lot of things I wish I could take back, but I can't. What I can do is be the dad you need me to be to help you become masterful. You want to be masterful?
Luke: I guess.
Phil: There's my killer! Okay. Our journey of 10,000 hours begins with a single pitch. I believe in my boy! I ain't gonna quit you. Let's burn one in here.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: [on the phone, speaking forcefully in Spanish]
Jay: Everything okay?
Gloria: Yes, I was telling my grandmother how great was Manny today.
Jay: So, that wasn't angry talk?
Gloria: No, silly, that was happy talk.
Jay: Ah, I'm beginning to understand why there's so much conflict on your continent.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: [aside to camera] Jay loves to make t-shirts for special occasions. Come on, baby, show them.
Jay: A few years back, my granddaughter Haley ran a 5k, So I had a few of these made up. [holds t-shirt saying "Haley's Comets"] It's just fun.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: He shouldn't be doing anything that makes him nervous. Papi, I support you.
Manny: I'm not nervous. I just don't want to fight a girl.
Gloria: What?
Manny: Defeating a woman would be a mark on my honor.
Gloria: Why? Because men are always so superior to a woman?
Manny: Uh-
Gloria: Uh, uh! So superior that you cannot even finish your sentence?
Jay: Dude.
Gloria: Manny, you always call yourself the lover of women. But if you don't compete with this girl, you're showing me and all the women that you don't respect us.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Hey, titans of residential real estate. That's right, I'm talking to you, Sandy Brewster, Skip Woosnum, J.J. McCubbin. Hear those footsteps? That's Luke Dunphy, and he's gonna drink your milkshake.

Quote from Luke

Phil: So, the owner's coming back in an hour with her husband, And I need him. I am telling you, that kid is a genius. There's the rainmaker!
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it.
Claire: Alex! Alex!

Quote from Mitchell

Mitchell: I guess I'm still a little angry. But, you know, you stole my moment, Claire. Yeah, okay, no, but it doesn't matter to you because you had your own moments. You had cheerleading and high-school plays, and, uh, making out with the quarterback, and...
Claire: Oh, come on. You made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

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