‘Earthquake’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 6, 2010
When an earthquake hits, Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with a plumber, while Phil works to secure a cabinet he said he'd already fixed to the wall. Mitchell and Cameron use the quake as an excuse to get out of brunch with their friend Pepper, Meanwhile, Manny has some theological questions for Jay when they golf instead of attending church.
Quote from Phil
Alex: Aren't you supposed to be getting Mom out of the bathroom?
Phil: That is what I was doing. That is what I was doing. This ca- This cabinet was the problem.
Alex: How?
Phil: Yeah, it's very heavy. And because it was properly anchored to the wall, it was sort of a ripple effect. It was pulling part of the floor down and then pushing part of the floor up, causing the bathroom door- Please don't tell on me.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Pepper. Pepper, you you didn't let me finish. The reason we didn't want to come to your party is, Mitchell...
Mitchell: Seriously?
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Who's a mob wife?
Cameron: I'm a mob wife.
Mitchell: I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.
Cameron: I'm a mob wife.
Quote from Luke
Claire: Seriously. What happened?
Alex: Dad was incredible. He was running around here, turning off the gas line cleaning up broken glass and taking care of Luke after he ran into a wall.
Luke: I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.
Quote from Alex
Phil: I don't know about you guys, but I just wanna relax and put my feet up.
[Alex clears her throat]
Phil: At the Museum of Tolerance. Who's in?
Alex: I am!
Phil: You are. Okay. Let's do it.
Quote from Jay
Jay: There's nothing mystical about an earthquake. Pressure builds, and it's released. And you just hope there's not too much damage. But it makes you realize what matters. And for me, that's my family. My family and golf. [laughs]