Jay: What the hell's the matter with this house? How could two steps be broken? [opens closet door] My God, the humidity. My hair's gonna frizz out. That's why I never show any pictures from 'Nam.
Phil: Oh, no, I totally forgot about the humidifier for my mushroom log. It needed darkness and moisture. It must have rotted the wood. Wow, honey, you're really wedged in here tight.
Claire: [o.s.] Yeah, no kidding.
Jay: Why can't you buy your mushrooms at a store, like a normal person?
Phil: Store-bought mushrooms? You really don't get my generation, Boomer.