Manny: Hello, all. Forgive my somber drapings, but like Masha in Chekhov's "The Seagull," I am in mourning for my life. And don't worry. I don't want any trouble. Today is not about me. It's about family. Our family. And the deep, profound love we share.
Alex: [inspecting a cheese ball] Man, that's cheesy.
Manny: Maybe, but it's how I feel.
Cameron: Thank you, Manny, for reminding us all what's important and how this should be the most memorable Christmas. Manny, would you care for a champagne cocktail?
Manny: Please. I do love champagne. And maybe when I turn my back, Luke can put his tongue all over it. [sobbing] Everything hurts! [whimpers]