Quote from Phil in It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy
Phil: There's no sense in hiding it. I did buy a giant pumpkin. Claire: I puzzled that one out. Phil: You're right. I'm a Halloween-obsessed child-man. Claire: Do you want to feel better? I took zombies to work, okay? And it died so hard. Oh, my God, to be pitied by Margaret. Phil: I guess the kids are right. [sighs] It's time for us to start acting like adults. We can have dinner parties, see plays, open IRAs. Claire: We have IRAs, right? Phil: Rude awakening, Claire. You think you're the fun-loving dad, putting smiles on faces, keeping childhood alive. Turns out you're just the weird guy barreling down a driveway in a pumpkin-tank.