Haley: You scheduled your breakup?
Sanjay: Yes, Labor Day. That's when I leave for school.
Alex: 86% relationships end in failure. It's the only logical course of action.
Haley: That is the least romantic thing I've ever heard. Stay together.
Luke: Wrong. Break up. College is the sexiest candy store in the world. You don't want to show up with your jaws wired shut.