Jay: You have to sometimes. That's the way marriages work. All this "happy wife, happy life" sort of stuff.
Phil: Tell you what would make me happy. This bad boy right here. It's still in my shopping cart 'cause I just can't say good-bye.
Jay: Who doesn't want a happy life? But soon you're saying "Yes, dear" and "Whatever you need, dear" without even thinking about it.
Phil: Antiglare plexi, reinforced podium.
Jay: If you don't stand up every once in a while, you lose all your power.
Phil: It's even got a wrist pad for your knob hand.
Jay: Before you know it, you're picking up a pink princess castle for your pedicured two-year-old saying good-bye to your last chance to have one red-blooded man in the family. And you're getting that damn game, Phil!