Claire: Why don't you let me do it?
Phil: Claire, you don't have to do that.
Claire: No, I know, but I want to. And that way on your birthday you'll wake up and you'll have your brand-new toy.
Phil: Okay. Well, in spite of you calling it a toy, this is shaping up to top the best birthday I ever had. [exits]
Haley: Oh, thank God we didn't have to hear that stupid story about that place-
Phil: [returns] It was called the Fun Zone. I was 11. I hit 10 straight fastballs in the batting cage. Then my best friend Jeff Sweeney stepped in and took one in the groin. I yelled out "Ball two!" Everybody laughed. That was when I knew I was funny. Good night.