Manny: Well, maybe if you believed in your sons instead of giving everyone Colombian handshakes.
Gloria: What?! I've never sanded down a man's fingers in front of his family! Oh, you mean the bribes?
Manny: You can't deny it anymore. Look at this photo on my dean's Instagram. He's wearing the same watch you gave Sensei Ron.
Cameron: The superintendent was wearing that same watch. I-I noticed it when he shook my hand at the end of the ceremony and said I was a "horrifying disgrace."
Jay: You bribed him?! Is that how I got my speech?
Gloria: Okay, enough! I'm sure you would have gotten all these things on your own, but the world sometimes is very unfair! And the watches are like an insurance.
Manny: Why do you even have so many?
Gloria: Sometimes I do a little bit of Ambien shopping and I buy too much of one thing. Didn't you all wonder when you got the same fun socks for Christmas?