Haley: Yes, Gavin, I got everything you asked for, and I'm on my way. All these errands I have to do for my boss. I swear, if it wasn't for me, he'd never get anything.
Phil: Haley, please. I'm trying to figure out how your mom's getting all these things done by herself.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: When Haley finally gave me a chance to hear myself think, it hit me. Could Claire be using an assistant? I decided to retrace every errand she allegedly ran today and time it out. She was in meetings from 9:00 A.M. to 1:30, leaving her a 90-minute window to buy Haley's dress, see Stan at Best Buy for Alex's present, then speed home, where she could start baking the cupcakes, drag the churn in from the garage, churn, wrap, and frost, leaving her a scant eight minutes at school pick-up time to race back for her 3:00 staff meeting. Even if all 14 traffic lights on her route were green, this task would be... Impossible! I don't know who made that ice cream, but Daddy was about to churn up a frosty bowl of "Mom's a big fake."