Quote from Phil in A Hard Jay's Night
Claire: Oh, what the hell? Phil: What's going on? Claire: The kids unfriended me again. How am I supposed to know what's going on in their lives if they never talk to me? Phil: Honey I got this. [cut to Phil shampooing Luke's hair:] Luke: Yeah. It's been kind of a rough year. New school, new kids, and now I'm taking advice about girls from a kid who has his own shoe buffer. Phil: What?! [cut to Phil shampooing Alex's hair:] Alex: I tried beer. Phil: Ohhh. [cut to Phil shampooing Haley's hair:] Haley: Wow, Dad. This feels great. Phil: Good. Good. You're- You sure there's- There's nothing on your mind? Haley: No. Why do you ask, Dad? You seem upset about something. [cut to Haley shampooing Phil's hair:] Phil: It's just, you reach a certain age, and you start to wonder, "Am I everything I wanted to be?" I mean, am I selling houses, or am I just selling out? Haley: Anything else? Phil: Alex tried beer.