Jay: I'd like to tell you the story of how I came to meet my incredible wife, because up until the birth of this child, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Claire: Mm, that feels good huh?
Jay: So it's morning. My car's getting waxed. I hop in the diner. I hear this adorable accent. I turn. I see this pretty girl talking to her friend. I send over a piece of pie.
Phil: All class.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Jay: Couple of minutes later, who comes over to thank me but Gloria, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Phil: Amen.
Jay: She sits down, we start talking, and we haven't stopped talking since. But here's the crazy part. I didn't send the pie to Gloria. Her back was to me. I sent it to her friend, who went to the bathroom and missed it. And that person is here today, Gloria's sister Sonia.
Phil: Isn't it funny how a simple twist of fate can change the whole-
Sonia: You stole my life! [attacking Gloria]