Phil: What's this? What? Hey, Jay, maybe after this, we should make the perfect mom. All we need is a tablespoon of love, one cup of warmth. Add one heart, softened.
Jay: What the hell are you talking about?
Phil: This recipe for the perfect mom, by Jay Francis Pritchett, age nine.
Jay: Geez, I forgot all about that. I didn't know she had that in there.
Phil: What's that, Francis?
Jay: Nothing. How much longer on the meat?
Phil: Ohh. I love this part about "serves one small boy." It's adorable. Wow. A hundred and seventy five pounds of tenderness. She must have loved that. Big woman? Jay?
[aside to camera:]
Phil: And that's when I saw it.
[back:]
Phil: Jay? Are- Are you crying?
Jay: No. It's the onions, damn it. Give me these. What are you looking at?
Phil: Nothing. Those really frame your face.