Phil: Okay. All that's left is to reattach the lander to the command module. We got one shot at this, fellas. If we fail, Jay's gonna burn up on re-entry into this house. Am I right?
Frank: [laughing over video chat] Hole in one, son!
Phil: Thanks, Dad.

Jay: [aside to camera] ClosetCon is the premier North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped going years ago 'cause it's a trade show for the closet industry.

Claire: This schedule is incredible. Dad, there's a 10:45 session on sustainable materials. We have got to hit that.
Mm, but it overlaps with the 11:00 A.M. panel on paneling. And a breakout session on shoe storage.
Jay: Little advice: the convention floor is for suckers. All work is done at the bar, unless Tony G. and Layla are singing standards, in which case, no work, prepare to be entertained.
Claire: Dad, I came here to learn, not sit at the bar and drink.
Jay: You do what you want. I'm getting a scotch.

Mitchell: Ooh, good. Breakfast.
Cameron: Breakfast? Try lunch.
Lily: We wake up early on the farm.
Cameron: Sure do.

Mitchell: What a pig sty, huh?
Cameron: [chuckles] Cute. Daddy went to town, he's gonna be there till supper, so I'm helping mama slop the pigs. You want to- You want to pitch in?
Mitchell: I don't know, I just ate that bacon, so... How's that gonna look?

Lily: Do it again!
Mitchell: No, sweetheart. I think once was enough. We don't-
Cameron: [shouting] S-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ooey!
Mitchell: There's actually an animal that runs toward that sound, huh?

Phil: Fun family time with this little newsy and a steak dinner. Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one. No one says that.

Haley: I am telling you, the way he looked at me when I came to the door, it is so on.
Alex: Kind of seemed like he was just delivering pizza, and you were giving him money.
Gloria: What are you guys talking about?
Alex: Chuck, the pizza guy from last night. He's shy and thoughtful and wears a Princeton sweatshirt. Hardly Haley's type.
Haley: Oh, my God. You love him.
Alex: What? No! I- How would you say I love him? He's been to our house exactly three times. That's ridiculous, Haley! Don't even look at me. This is so stupid.
Gloria: She loves him.

Jay: [aside to camera] There is a room off the kitchen at Jay's house that's always locked. I try it every time I'm there. I've spent countless hours imagining that that room is a house of treasure a palace of ceaseless wonder.

Luke: Is that-
Phil: A replica of Apollo 13. Look at the detail. You can almost see the astronauts drinking teeny, tiny Tang.