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Clean for a Day

‘Clean for a Day’

Season 7, Episode 12 - Aired February 10, 2016

Before she starts her new job as president of Jay's closet company, Claire decides it's time for the family to declutter their house. Unfortunately, Luke and Phil are reluctant to part with anything, while Alex finds a memento from her relationship with Sanjay. Meanwhile, Jay takes up a new hobby as his retirement begins, while Gloria takes a golf lesson so she can spend more time with him.

Quote from Jay

Cameron: You're not gonna want to get in that plane. Gloria had a terrible dream where you fell from a great height and died.
Jay: All right, Gus. Up, up, and away.
Cameron: No, Jay, she seemed pretty upset, and if something were to happen-
Jay: She's always dreaming about me dying. Dede did the same thing. It's typical wife stuff.

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Quote from Manny

Joe: Mommy, it sounds like those raccoons are fighting again.
Lily: Fine, I'll stop.
Manny: Hey, what does he know about art? You've seen his drawings. He thinks Jay is shorter than a flower.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Honey, we don't want to give this stuff away. We like it. It's important to us.
Claire: How can it be important to you? You didn't even know it existed until I told you to go through the closet and find it.
Phil: That is beside the point! All of this stuff is packed with meaning!
Claire: Really, Phil? What does this cheap snow globe mean to you?
Phil: We got that at a gas station in Florida.
Claire: The snowman's melted.
Phil: It used to just be funny, but now it's also a poignant statement on global warming.

Quote from Jay

Jay: I don't know what I'm doing.
Cameron: Well, put it on autopilot. Put it on autopilot!
Jay: There is no autopilot. This is a lawnmower with wings.

Quote from Alex

Sanjay: If I could go back in time, which the laws of physics don't disallow, I never would have hurt you.
Alex: Well, if you believe in the multi-verse, there currently exists a bubble of space-time where you didn't.
I wish we were there.
Haley: Oh, my god. Is this geek foreplay? 'Cause I don't understand any of this.

Quote from Haley

Claire: Oh, my god. It's all our old stuff.
Alex: Ah! My first bike!
Luke: My Van Gogh project!
Haley: My first phone! Yes, I'll hold for Lizzie McGuire.

Quote from Luke

Luke: What is this meeting about? Are the ducks back? 'Cause that was weird.
Phil: They saved us.
Luke: From people thinking we're normal.

Quote from Claire

Phil: Your mom starts her new job running grandpa's closet company on Monday, and you know how she gets when there are big changes.
Claire: [o.s., British accent] Knockity-knock!
Luke: Oh, no. Not-
Phil: Mrs. Clutterworth.
Claire: Who's ready to take everything we don't want and toss it in the bin?
Haley: I am! You get her arms, I'll get her legs.

Quote from Luke

Claire: Take one of these things up to your rooms. Put everything in it you don't use.
Haley: Can't we just do this next weekend, or, like, never?
Claire: No. I am starting my new job and I want to leave things as organized as possible.
Luke: Most people just throw stuff into a closet. As president of a closet company, you should know that.

Quote from Jay

Mitchell: I'd like to toast my dad on his first day of retirement. Congratulations on 42 years in the closet... business.
Gloria: I think what I'm going to miss the most is all the closet jokes.
Manny: Traditionally on an occasion this emotionally significant, the man of the hour delivers a few well-chosen words.
Jay: I would just like to say... I'm going golfing.
Mitchell: Dad, don't forget Lily's first flute recital is on Thursday at 3:30.
Jay: I would love to be there, but I'm really swamped at wo- Hell, that snuck up on me.

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