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Blasts from the Past

‘Blasts from the Past’

Season 10, Episode 12 - Aired January 16, 2019

Phil and Claire are looking forward to a trip to Italy before their home becomes a mad house with Haley, Dylan and the twins. Unfortunately for them, chaos arrives before its due date. Cameron and Mitchell talk to Lily about some risque reading material they found in her room. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay try to teach Joe about their inspirational ancestors.

Quote from Claire

Phil: I had to get out of there, or I was gonna make Haley a single mom. I hit Dylan again, Claire.
Claire: But not on purpose.
Phil: Are we sure?
Claire: You mean, like, you might have some buried anger towards him stealing away your baby girl? Oh, I so want it to be on purpose. Gets lonely out here on crazy island.

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Quote from Phil

Phil: Oh, well, we still have Italy.
Claire: Do we? Listen, I've been doing some research on twins, and it seems that, like our daughter, they... they tend to come early. Even if it's a 1-in-10 chance, I can't risk having the only maternal figure present be that tub-birthing Wiccan. I got to be there for Haley.
Phil: It's overwhelming for sure, but haven't a ton of our best memories come from the anarchy of our house? Like when Luke got his head stuck in the banister?
Claire: Which time? Or when... When Alex's science fair project blacked out the whole neighborhood during the Super Bowl?
Phil: Or when, uh, Haley snuck in Luke's window the same week we bought him a slingshot?
Claire: Oh, God. That was... Mm.
Phil: So, it's a-a madhouse, but on the other hand, we're gonna have a couple babies in the house, and they'll be Haley and Dylan's. So they'll be doing funny stuff.

Quote from Phil

Claire: So...looks like we are going on a trip?
Phil: [in Italian] "To the adventure that is life."
Claire: "With you, every day is a lawnmower".
Phil: "I must be the tallest man in the world."

Quote from Jay

Jay: [aside to camera] Maybe it was sour grapes, but this guy was starting to sound like baloney. I was sure that if I left no stone unturned, eventually, one day, I'd find some dirt on Great Uncle Alvaro.
[flashback:]
Jay: I knew it!
[back:]
Jay: Simón Francisco Alvaro would go from town to town, seducing wealthy widows with made-up stories of his bravery in battle. After frittering away their fortunes on drink and dice, he would move on, leaving his victims with nothing but a single red rose... and syphilis.

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