Dance Teacher: Oh, no. It's really important for Lily's self-esteem that she go on. I think one of you should talk to her.
Manny: You know she stinks, right?
Dance Teacher: [to Jay] And I think it should be you.

Dylan: Do you think that this is gonna work out?
Luke: Yes. Well, for my parents, I mean. For you? No.
Dylan: God. I just wanna live with Haley so bad. It's like, I missed all this time with her in Wyoming. Then I thought I was gonna lose her again to college.
Luke: Don't worry. I got your back, buddy. That's not gonna happen.
Dylan: What does that mean?
Luke: Dylan, shut the door. [Dylan closes the closet door] The bedroom door.

Cameron: Excuse me. Excuse me. Okay. We're very confused. Can somebody please just tell us what's happening?
Gloria: Somebody told the grandmother about the baby, and she wasn't supposed to know. [lowered voice] If you ask me, it was the sexy priest.
Ranch Hand: Enough! It wasn't the priest. It was me.
Nurse: Eduardo! Oh! [collapses]
Mitchell: What's happening?
Ranch Hand: Yes, I am alive. And I may be just a ranch hand, but I'm the one that told your abuela about the baby. I told her because I swore to your mother to look after your family. Your mother, was my lover.

Mitchell: Can we please just see our baby?
Abuela: No!
Both: ¿Abuela? - ¿Abuela?
Abuela: ¿Cómo te atreves a ocultar esto de mí? El bebé es mi familia, y no va a ser educado por extraños.
Gloria: She's saying that she's going to raise the baby.

Claire: Honey, listen, the point is, the choices you make today-
Haley: No, no, the point is, is that it doesn't have to turn out so bad.
Dylan: She's right. It doesn't. Luke?
Luke: This came yesterday.
Haley: What is it?
Dylan: It's from that college. You got in, Haley.

Claire: It came yest- Yesterday? Luke, why were you hiding this?
Luke: I don't know.
Haley: Do you not want her to go to college?
Luke: I don't care.
Haley: Aw! You're gonna miss me!
Luke: Shut up! I am not! [to Dylan] I'm never telling you anything again.
Dylan: Sorry, little dude, but she's gotta go to college, even if that means that she can't live with me.
Claire: Oh, Dylan.

Gloria: [aside to camera] There's certain moments in life that you never forget, like when I held Manny in my arms for the very first time. I was nervous. I didn't know what I was doing. And I was so excited to see him grow up. And the more he becomes the little man I know today, the more I know I would do it all over again. Which is good, because I'm going to do it all over again. Turns out that I wasn't carsick. I'm pregnant.

Jay: She's asleep. I tell you, kid, I'm too old for this.
Manny: You and me both.