‘Aunt Mommy’
Season 3, Episode 15 - Aired February 15, 2012
When Phil and Claire join Mitchell and Cameron for a celebratory meal, they make a proposal that they soon regret. Meanwhile, Jay pushes Manny to play sports, and Haley and Alex team up on Luke.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: So this is happening again?
Mitchell: Well, I'm not gonna not do it 'cause my dad thinks I shouldn't.
Cameron: You know, I'm not following.
Mitchell: We're not doing it 'cause I don't want to do it. What we're not doing is not doing it 'cause he doesn't want us to do it.
Cameron: Just say baby or no baby.
Quote from Jay
Jay: Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed.
Claire: Okay, Dad, it's not technically inbreeding. It's, um-
Alex: For the record, I think what my mom is doing is very brave.
Haley: I like it. I've always kind of wanted a half-brother, half-cousin.
Jay: Really? "Always"?
Quote from Mitchell
Claire: Oh, wow. When was the last time we talked under a table?
Mitchell: Dad and Gloria's wedding reception.
Claire: Oh, yeah. Um, mm. I love you. You know that. But I can't do this.
Mitchell: No, no, neither can I!
Claire: Really?
Mitchell: Yeah.
Claire: Are you serious? You can't--oh, God. I'm so relieved. I'm sorry. I-I-I ugh. I am so sorry I led us down this road.
Mitchell: No, no. No, Claire, don't be. Don't be. It was- It was generous and thoughtful, just like you. How could I not want those qualities in my child?
Claire: Ohh. Oh, come here.
Quote from Mitchell
Jay: So this is really happening?
Claire: What if it is, dad?
Claire: Yeah. What if we love each other, and this is a beautiful thing?
Mitchell: Okay, it's our decision. It's not yours.
Claire: Yeah.
Cameron: So baby? No baby?
Mitchell: No.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: My God, Cam.
Cameron: Oh, look, she's organizing her things.
Mitchell: Look at how she's dressed. Oh!
Cameron: We didn't make her, but she sure is us.
Mitchell: Hey, Lily, honey, it might make more sense with the shoes-
Cameron: Mitchell.
Mitchell: Because I like what she did with the dolls-
Cameron: Play as you will. Play as you will.
Quote from Jay
Manny: Eight years. I can't believe we're finally done.
Gloria: Me, either. Come. Let's go get your lottery ticket.
Jay: Gloria, I think you made a mistake here.
Gloria: What did I do now?
Jay: I counted these, and you've only got 96 pennies.
Manny: Are you sure?
Jay: Afraid so. I guess you're gonna have to keep lookin'.
Manny: Dang it! I counted those.
Jay: See for yourself.
Quote from Lily
Cameron: And now we upload your picture.
Mitchell: This is fun. This is fun.
Cameron: Yeah. And in just a few short moments, thanks to the magic of technology, we'll know what our baby actually looks-
Mitchell: Oh! No!
Cameron: What happened? What is that?
Mitchell: Did you put one of us in upside-down?
Cameron: No! That's actually- Okay, I-I don't want to see this anymore. Turn it off.
Mitchell: Oh, it's not turning off.
Cameron: Well, throw something over it! That- Oh, God!
Mitchell: Yeah, well, we played God, and look what we brought forth.
Lily: Daddies, what are you looking at? Aah!
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Maybe it wasn't that bad.
Mitchell: No, no, it's possible that we overreacted.
Cameron: Yeah. Maybe our expectations were just a little bit too high. That little guy had some cute features. Huh?
Mitchell: Of course he did. It's us. It can't be that bad.
Cameron: Yeah.
Mitchell: Let's just take- [all scream]