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Alone Time

‘Alone Time’

Season 8, Episode 21 -  Aired May 10, 2017

Mitchell decides he needs a little break from his family, so he tells Cameron that he's heading to a hotel in the desert. After Jay gets wind of Mitchell's idea, he makes the same plan. Back home, Cameron struggles to spend the evening alone, so he checks in on Gloria and Manny. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire wonder if they'll ever have the empty-nest lifestyle they've been waiting for.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay! I must have fallen asleep.
Cameron: I don't see how. The fumes coming off of that potion are something else.
Gloria: Yes. When we're done with this, don't throw it out because with a teaspoon, I can clean the swimming pool.

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Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Ay, no! No! You used Joe's cape for the smelly thing? You know how important this is for him?
Cameron: No.
Gloria: It goes me, the cape, chocolate chip cookies, and then Jay!
Cameron: Well, can't we just say Jay ruined it, since he's already so far down the list?

Quote from Cameron

Joe: It looks like a monster ate it!
Cameron: Exactly. See? It tells a story. This burn is from when you fought a dragon! A-And these oil stains? Well, they're from when you saved that 18-wheeler from going off a bridge. This is the cape of a superhero who's always there for people in need.
Joe: Wow!
Cameron: Fly away!

Quote from Joe

Joe: Has anyone seen my cape?
Cameron: Uh, no. What's it look like?
Joe: Like a cape! Sorry. It's just so stressful.

Quote from Dylan

Dylan: Anyway, I just wanted to pick something up that I left here. [drawer opens, Dylan picks up a Rubik's cube] Bam! Oh, wait. Uh... Bam! Your dad did that. Yellow's the hardest side.

Quote from Claire

Claire: Don't you see what the universe is trying to tell us? We are never gonna reach the next chapter. Luke's not going to college. Haley's gonna grow old in the basement. Alex is just gonna keep coming back to taunt us and use up our tissues!
Phil: I don't think the universe cares that much about us.
Claire: Phil, we tried to run away, and I can still see our chimney from here. It's over. Oh, yeah. This is it. "Welcome... to our life!"

Quote from Claire

Phil: Sweetheart, I-I am as upset as you are, but since when did anything work out the way we planned? We didn't plan on having Haley. We didn't plan on having Alex. We did plan on having Luke, but we didn't plan on having Luke.
Claire: I'm having a tantrum. And I love our kids, I do. Most of the time, I do. It's just I had this... this picture of how our life would look right now. [sighs]
Phil: This is not that.
Claire: No.
Phil: Yeah. I get it.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Oh, hello, Claire.
Claire: Hi, honey. I just got back from the most beaut... Oh!
Phil: [on projected video] Oh, indeed. Welcome to your pre-recorded seduction.
Claire: Mama likes!
Phil: Papa knows.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: That's right. I know my wife so well, I was able to anticipate her questions before she asked them.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Well, this is kind of fun.
Phil: [on projected video] The sexiest? I don't know. The world's a pretty big place. Help yourself to a glass of wine, my love.
Claire: Oh, it's kind of early in the day, but how often do we get the house completely to ourselves?
Phil: Easy, thirsty! I've got plans for you. Hint. this won't be the last time you see me on a sheet today. [snaps fingers] Now you.
Claire: Well, I guess your beautiful lunch will have to wait.
Phil: [door opens] Someone's here! No, Claire!
Claire: What?
Phil: [on video] Yes, Claire. Show me those pretty feet.

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: ♪ Watching sports with my feet on the table ♪ ♪ This is the best ♪ ♪ This is the best ♪ ♪ Being alone is the best ♪
[cut to Cameron arriving at Gloria's house:]
Cameron: "Rescue Me."
Gloria: What?
Cameron: That was the name of the TV show I couldn't remember at dinner last week.

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