Modern Family Quotes

Modern Family

Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

Starring: Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Original Run: 2009-.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Quote from Jay in A Stereotypical Day

Jay: All right. Listen, you guys need anything, let me know.
Shawn: You got it. I'm Shawn, by the way.
Jay: Jay Pritchett.
Gloria: Jay.
Jay: It's okay, Gloria. All handled. This is my wife, Gloria. This is Shawn - and I want to get this right, beautiful African name - Shawn M'badawe.
Shawn: I said, "By the way."
Jay: Ah.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Phil in Come Fly with Me

Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?

Quote from Gloria in Unplugged

Gloria: Look. Look how happy they are instead of him being tied to a tree outside with no one to talk to.
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!

Quote from Lily in Suddenly, Last Summer

Lily: What if he never comes back?
Jay: Oh, honey, no one ever leaves home and doesn't come back.
Lily: I did.

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Quote from Lily in ClosetCon '13

Cameron: Boy, it starting to get nippy, huh? You guys want to walk down to the duck pond?
Barb: Um, that sounds lovely. I'll get the gun.
Lily: Are y'all coming?
Mitchell: "Y'all"? We don't say "y'all"!
Cameron: Yeah, we do.
Mitchell: No, well, yeah, we say it here, but not normally.
Cameron: Well, did you ever think this is how I really talk and that I talk different-like when I'm not here?
Lily: Y'all fighting?

Quote from Jay in The Cover-Up

[aside to camera:]
Jay: If, six months ago, you'd have told me I'd have a big Internet show, I would have said, "Yeah, that adds up." I used to entertain my staff with jokes and observations. When I retired, I started sharing those gems around the house. Manny went so nuts for it, he set up the whole webcast.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: Sorry, Internet. He's your problem now.
[flashback:]
Jay: Bottom line, you can keep your hashtags, 'cause I like hashbrowns. But, hey that's just "Jay Talking."

Quote from Phil in Pig Moon Rising

Phil: Imagine yourself in a museum filled with the world's oddities.
Dean Hinden: No, no, no, no. Slow down. Enjoy it. And turn around... so I can get a good look at the back. Let me see the back.
Phil: Behold the freak... for all to see.