Modern Family Quotes

Modern Family

Modern Family

Modern Family is a mockumentary that follows the extended Pritchett family with three diverse households that show what it means to be a modern family.

Starring: Ed O'Neill, Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, Jeremy Maguire, Reid Ewing.
Recurring Actors: Adam DeVine, Nathan Lane, Fred Willard, Shelley Long, Elizabeth Banks, Benjamin Bratt, Chazz Palminteri, Dana Powell, Kevin Daniels, Rob Riggle, Stephanie Beatriz, Christian Barillas.
Original Run: 2009-2020.

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Quote from Phil in Starry Night

Phil: Claire, I know you've got your methods, but so do I. And I'm sorry, but I'm not a micromanager. Trust me, I can provide Luke with the tools and guidance he needs without, uh, smothering him.
Claire: You think I smother our child?
Phil: It's not your fault, honey. "Mother" is part of the word. You never hear of anyone being "sfathered" to death.

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Quote from Gloria in Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Cameron in Send Out the Clowns

Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.

Quote from Claire in The Closet Case

Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.

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Quote from Phil in The Day We Almost Died

Phil: I just stopped by to give you guys a little care package to show you there's no hard feelings.
Gil Thorpe: Class act, dung beetle.
Phil: Here's the malpractice attorney most of his clients have used after he's ripped them off. You will be losing some sleep, but these have always helped my wife. And this priest is retired, but I think he still does exorcisms, which you'll need after today.
Sam: Listen, Phil.
Gil Thorpe: It's okay. It's sad, really, to see a once-mediocre realtor reduced to this.
Phil: Gil, please, let's keep this civil. Oh, by the way, if you ever speak disrespectfully again about my wife, I'll kill you. Sorry. That sounded like a joke. I will actually kill you. Anyhoo, when you guys wake up and smell the sulfur, here's a list of other realtors, and if you need me, I'll be in the office at 9:00... Uh, 10:00. I have the dentist.

Quote from Gloria in iSpy

Gloria: Maybe the details are in Jay's phone. But I hope not, because everything is very secret on there.
Jay: Don't know if you caught that subtle cue. She's mad at me.
Gloria: He did something very terrible that he doesn't want me to know about.
Jay: "Very terrible"?
Gloria: Until you tell me what it is, I'm gonna think the worst possible thing, like maybe you killed somebody. But you don't have the stomach for that, do you?

Quote from Manny in Clash of Swords

Manny: Notes from the road. Alternate title, The United States of me. Fear Friend or Foe? As children, we're taught to fear what can hurt us. But as adults, we're expected to conquer what we're afraid of. So what are fears? Do they keep us alive? Or do they keep us from living?
Haley: Hey! You're blocking the driveway. Hit the road already.
Manny: Okay, I'm going.