Lois: All right, that's enough. Reese lost a wrestling match. It's no big deal. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't.
Hal: Yeah, son, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your best. That girl was just inarguably a better wrestler than you. Oh, my God, she had you flopping around on that mat like a rag doll.

Malcolm: You know, you've been acting really weird ever since you got your butt kicked by that girl.
Reese: It's not just about the girl. Wrestling made me feel good, you know? I was helping the school. People looked up to me. And that's gone now, and I've got nothing. But it's not going to be like that anymore. I'm going to find a way to make people proud of me again.
Malcolm: So what are you going to do?
Reese: I don't know. I just want to be the good guy, do good stuff... for good. Dewey, what can I do for you?
Dewey: Mom!
Reese: Shut up! I'm trying to help you.

Malcolm: What was that for?
Jeffrey: That's for having a smart mouth and making fun of me all the time. Since Reese is out of the picture, I don't have to take it anymore.
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Jeffrey: Now that your brother's a wuss, I don't have to worry about him coming after me when I teach you a lesson.
Malcolm: But we're friends.
Jeffrey: Making cracks about me painting my face and being stupid? You say those things to friends?
Malcolm: Those things were funny.
Jeffrey: Oh, yeah. Real funny. I'll show you what's funny. Knock, knock. Who's there? [knocks Malcolm over] Pushy Pusherson. [another boy helps Malcolm get up]
Malcolm: What's wrong with him? [the boy shoves Malcolm down again]
Boy: Remember me? Moby Rick? That was so hilarious.
Malcolm: I never called you Moby Rick. I called you Rick-Oppotamus. Although... [the boy punches Malcolm] Hey! Hey! Just wait for a second. So you guys really don't think I'm funny? [Jeffrey punches Malcolm in the face]

Reese: I'm here to read to you.
Patient: Okay. I was so glad when I heard you were coming.
Reese: Really? Great. I just want to help. They said the terminal patients really get a lift from this kind of stuff.
Patient: I'm sorry, did... did you say "terminal"?
Reese: ... I'm in the wrong room. And come to think of it, I'm in the wrong hospital.
Patient: Nurse! Nurse!

Hal: Rough day, huh?
Malcolm: Yeah.
Hal: You know, when people are mad at you, a simple apology can take you a long way. Let me give you a hypothetical. Let's just say, hypothetically, I told a coworker that it looked like my boss was highlighting his hair. And let's say, hypothetically, that the coworker then went to my boss and told him what I said and that, hypothetically speaking, my boss then moved me to the tiny office at the end of the hall, next to the copier. And if I had just apologized, Malcolm, you boys would all have your own bedrooms right now.
Malcolm: So you're saying you wish you had apologized?
Hal: Not to that pretty boy. Look, this hypothetical has nothing to do with your situation. Just think about it.

Malcolm: I just want to say I'm sorry.
Jeffrey: About what?
Malcolm: Remember the day it was raining and you said, "Hey, it's raining," and I said, "Thanks, Einstein"?
Jeffrey: Yeah. Why'd you say that? My name's not Einstein.
Malcolm: I was referring to Albert Einstein. He was this physicist who was a genius.
Jeffrey: You think I'm a genius?
Malcolm: [to camera] Oh, man, I've got, like, five good comebacks to that. But that was the old me. [to Jeffrey] No, I was being sarcastic. I was kind of saying that you're the opposite of a genius.
Jeffrey: So... you were calling me stupid.
Malcolm: Yeah, and that's why I... [Jeffrey punches Malcolm in the face]

Malcolm: Do Mom and Dad know about this?
Reese: No, and you can't tell them. Brother Billy says they have negative energy and bad karma.
Malcolm: You're talking about joining a cult. Are you nuts?
Reese: Brother Billy doesn't talk to me like that. He makes me feel good about myself.
Malcolm: It's called brainwashing, Reese.
Reese: My name isn't Reese anymore.
Malcolm: Then what is it?
Reese: I don't remember, but it isn't Reese. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have manifestos to distribute.

Lloyd: Reese, you've got to help us.
Reese: What?
Lloyd: Your absence as a bully has created a power vacuum. Now the school is filled with rogue thugs carving out random spheres of influence. I've been hit up for my lunch money twice today.
Dabney: I've been hit up three times, and when I didn't have anything, they took my shirt!
Lloyd: They took my shoes! My shoes!
Reese: But what am I supposed to do about it?
Dabney: We need you back.
Reese: What do you mean? I was a jerk.
Lloyd: Yes, but you were the alpha jerk.
Dabney: Reese, without you, it's anarchy! Look around you.

Stevie: Order... is restored.

Malcolm: [to camera] Reese finally found a way to beat the snot out of people and actually get a trophy for it.