Lois: Hal.
Hal: I thought I saw a spider.
Lois: You want to just cut our losses and check out in the morning?
Hal: I guess. Should we still do the Afterglow Breakfast?
Lois: Well... we gotta eat.

Craig: What the hell is this?
Malcolm: Shh. We just got them to go to sleep.
Craig: You boys aren't even supposed to be here and you're throwing a coed slumber party?
Donnie: Who's the fat chick?
Craig: Okay, that's it. I want everybody out of here! Pronto!
Angela: Hey, no one tells us what to do.
Man: That's right.
Francis: Craig, you might want-
Craig: None of your excuses! You and your little friends are in a boatload of trouble.

Francis: Let's just go back to Craig's apartment and wait it out till Sunday.
Dewey: We can't just leave him here!
Francis: Dewey, there's a principle I learned in military school. The needs of the many outweigh the needs oOf the guy who can't run fast.
Dewey: No! We face-painted each other. I'm not leaving him here.
Malcolm: Dewey, there's nothing we can do.
Craig: [screams] Not the crevice tool! [sobs]
Dewey: I know what to do.

Hal: Seven minutes till checkout.
Lois: Do you have the soap, the sewing kit and the stationery?
Hal: Got 'em. I also got the shampoos and the shoe cloth. I couldn't find the shower caps.
Lois: I got 'em.

Malcolm: Yeah, everything was fine. You know, kind of boring. Quiet, boring. Fun, but boring.
Craig: Look who I picked up from the bus station after not having seen him since I dropped him off.
Reese: Canada was wonderful. I brought bananas back for everybody.
Hal: Do you really want to know?
Lois: Not really. No.