‘Reese's Party’
Season 4, Episode 18 - Aired April 27, 2003
When Lois and Hal try to get away for one last romantic weekend before the baby is born, Reese decides to throw a house party.
Quote from Craig
Craig: Are you sure I'm not too old for Winky Dinks?
Dewey: The box says "for ages eight and up."
Craig: Well, I'm right smack-dab in the middle of that window.
Quote from Hal
Lois: This is ridiculous. We came all this way to have one relaxing, romantic weekend and, and we're more tense than when we left the house.
Hal: Well, there's nothing we can do about it now.
Lois: Yes, there is. We've got seven minutes left. We paid for it. We're going to use it.
Hal: How?
Lois: By doing one nice thing for each other before we go. And we'd better make it good, because we're not going to have another chance at it for 18 years.
Hal: Well... I suppose I could be persuaded to make a gesture.
Lois: Will you rub my feet?
Hal: I would love to rub your feet.
Lois: What can I do for you?
Hal: Please leave my balls alone.
Lois: Okay.
Quote from Dewey
Donnie: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Dewey: I think it would be best if you left now. [all laugh]
Donnie: That's what you think, huh?
Craig: [nervous, high-pitched laugh]
Dewey: Yeah, that's what I think.
Donnie: Well, I think we're going to take a pass on that.
Dewey: Okay, Donnie. Just remember, you drove me to this.
Donnie: Really? What exactly did we just drive you to?
Dewey: I told. [laughter and oohing]
Donnie: Oh, you told. [mock laughter]
Dewey: I called your moms and I told on you.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: Reese blew his nose on my shirt!
Reese: Because Dewey put his dirty underwear on my pillow!
Malcolm: And one of them used my graphing calculator to smash open a juice box!
Hal: Everybody just shut up! Your mother is nine months pregnant. She's stressed out enough as it is! She doesn't need all this screaming!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Have fun in school today, suckers. I'll send you a postcard from Whitehorse.
Malcolm: Reese, figure it out. It takes 26 hours to get there and 26 hours back. Your backpack is full of food, and no one ever called Grandma.
Reese: Wait a minute. I'm spending the entire weekend on this bus? [Malcolm, Dewey and Craig wave as bus departs]
Quote from Hal
Lois: Oh, I'm so glad we're finally here. I can't believe you made me walk that extra 150 yards.
Hal: Trust me, valet parking - even complimentary valet parking - is a scam.
Quote from Reese
Man: [on the phone] Hello, ma'am. This is Mel Jenkins with Transway Bus Lines. I don't know how to tell you this. I was keeping an eye on your son for you, like you asked, but when we got out on the interstate, he went into the bathroom, and... Well, he must have jumped out the window while we were moving. I'd gone 60 miles before I noticed.
Reese: [on the line] [feminine voice] What?! How could you do this to my favorite son? The only one I ever loved is now lying in a ditch somewhere. Well, I'd better call the coffin store. Good-bye.
Quote from Reese
Reese: What's this junk? What is going on?
Donnie: Okay, here's what's going to happen. We have some private business to conduct. This is now our garage for the next 48 hours. You don't come near it. You don't ask about it. We get out before your parents come back. They never have to find out that you're the one who invited us.
Malcolm: What the hell are you guys doing?
Reese: You know, he just explained it really well, but all I could hear was my own heartbeat.
Malcolm: Reese, that stuff is-
Donnie: See, that's you guys talking, and that doesn't work for me. Now, can I trust that you guys won't talk, or am I going to have to remove something to make it physically impossible?
Quote from Francis
Francis: You guys did the right thing by calling me.
Malcolm: Sorry to drag you out here all the way from the ranch.
Francis: This shouldn't take long. They all in there?
Malcolm: Yeah, well, one of them's In the bedroom with Kathy.
Francis: Who's Kathy?
Malcolm: My date.
Francis: Dude.