Malcolm Quote #558
Quote from Malcolm in Reese Joins the Army: Part 1
Malcolm: [to camera] That's Beth, Reese's girlfriend for the last month. She's really starting to bug me. First I had to hear them through their baby-talk phase. Then they had their giggling phone call phase. Now they're on their endless making-out phase. It's gotten to the point where I can't tell if they're kissing or cleaning each other.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Reese Joins the Army: Part 1’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Sgt. Hendrix: Well, troop, you've polished your boots before everyone else. How on God's good earth did you accomplish that miracle?
Reese: I just did it exactly the way you told me to. Remove laces, pull tongue forward, apply polish, pull tongue backward, buff, replace laces, repeat. I did the same thing to make my bed and secure my foot locker.
Sgt. Hendrix: Well, that's the most miraculous turnaround that I've ever seen. I want you to explain to these recruits how the worst soldier in the unit has managed to put them all to shame!
Reese: I just stopped thinking. I figured out that using my brain was the whole problem... not just here, but my entire life. If I just do exactly what I'm told and nothing else, then everything gets easy. It's not even a question of smart or dumb. You just turn yourself into a tool. I'm much happier that way. I'm the world's happiest tool.
Sgt. Hendrix: You must be proud of yourself, son.
Reese: I don't know if I am or not. I'm waiting for you to tell me.
Sgt. Hendrix: My God. A soldier like you comes along once in a thousand years.
Quote from Hal
Lois: Oh, Jamie finally fell asleep. Haven't you finished paying these bills yet?
Hal: How am I supposed to know which ones to blow off? "Ultimate Final Notice" is obviously more serious than "Absolute Final Notice," but pink is angrier than yellow, and this one's still saying, "Please."
Quote from Lois
Lois: Well, forget this one. What's the vet going to do? Bring Dewey's bird back to life?