Ida Quote #64

Quote from Ida in Victor's Other Family

Ida: So, Lois... are you enjoying your... collaboration? Looks like you sold your soul cheap enough. Coconut cake... from the woman who stole your father's fluids and made bastards with them!
Lois: Mother, what the hell are you doing?! Get out of here! The police are coming!
Ida: Why? I don't even get to look at what was stolen from me? Where do you think she got this money? This couch was my trip to Paris! Look at this place. While we lived like dogs, they were playing on grand pianos and eating with napkins! Why do you think you girls were so short and ugly? Victor fed you on beans so he could give his other daughter ballet lessons.
Sylvia: Ida, I think you should know that besides the restraining order, I have a knitting needle. All right, it's a crochet hook.
Ida: Listen to me, tough guy. I know about Victor's other pension! Victor worked for Paragon Brush from 1960 to 1964. Manitoba family law says as common-law wife, I am entitled to that pension!
Sylvia: I really don't know what you're talking about.
Ida: The truth will burst out of the grave and strangle you and your whole family!
Lois: Mother, we will discuss this later. If you do not turn and leave, so help me, I will tear that wig off of your head, and everyone will see your tick scars!
Ida: It's not over.


 ‘Victor's Other Family’ Quotes

Quote from Ida

Lois: [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Ida: I lost the case. They said I was never legally married to Victor because there were no documents. Oh, that judge had guts after what I mailed him.
Lois: That's very sad, Mom.
Ida: Not married! Victor came to my house and defeated each of my brothers in combat. The proof was the bite marks on his back!

Quote from Ida

Lois: Aha! A canceled check for Dad's cyst removal with your signature on it!
Ida: Beautiful! Let them try and say that's not a marriage! And look! The pig Victor got for my dowry!
Lois: It might take a year or two, but we are gonna get that 40 bucks out of their eye sockets! [Ida laughs] You know, Mom, if this thing does go to trial, it might help us if you worked a little bit on your demeanor. You know, when you deal with other people, you could be pleasant and say, "How are you?" And that way people will think that you care about their feelings, and then they might care about yours.
Ida: What the hell are you talking about?
Lois: I'm just trying to help you.
Ida: I know you are, Vuschka. I'm sorry. It's just a lot for me to remember. You can show me more tricks tomorrow.
Lois: It's kind of funny, huh, Mom? After all these years, you and I are actually helping each other.
Ida: Well, you live as long as I have, you get used to anything.

 Ida Quotes

Quote from Christmas

Francis: Oh, my god, you're crazy! I just thought you were evil, but you are nuts!
Ida: What are you talking about?
Francis: Grandma, gifts aren't conditional. They're gifts. You give them to people because you love them! They're not something you can take away because of some petty slight! You're not teaching people anything You haven't got back at them. They don't even know they've upset you! All you've done here is... is constructed a monument to your own insanity! What kind of a person does that?
Ida: A lonely, bitter, old woman.
Francis: What?
Ida: [sighs] Look what I've done. What use is all this things to me now? They could have brought someone some happiness. Instead they rot here. Oh.
Francis: Grandma?
Ida: My hea- My heart. I think it's... melting. Yes, it's melting. Oh. You've shown me the way, Francis, by yelling at me. Quick. Go get my magic sled and me and my reindeers will go and give Christmas to all the mean, stupid, rude people! We'll all join hands and sing songs and we'll sprinkle the ingrates with fairy dust!

Quote from The Grandparents

Lois: Sorry about the takeout. I don't know what the deal is with the fridge.
Victor: What do you expect? That brand is dishufka.
Ida: [to Dewey] That's it. Fatten up on pizza. Good luck running when they come with the dogs and chase you into the hills.