Dewey Quote #623
Quote from Dewey in Experiment
Dewey: Hello, sir.
Man: Sorry. I don't eat candy.
Dewey: Oh, these aren't candy bars. These are America Bars.
Man: What are you talking about?
Dewey: You know, America Bars. Well, actually, I prefer the term "Freedom Bars." You love America, right?
Man: Well, of course I do.
Dewey: Well, there are a lot of people out there who are hoping we won't do our part.
Man: What do you mean?
Dewey: You know. People. People who don't have this country's best interests at heart.
Man: So, these candy bars help fight terrorism?
Dewey: With every chocolatey, nougaty bite.
More Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: How much blood do we have left?
Stevie: Plenty. I snuck... another pint... when he was sleeping.
Stevie: He wants... to help.
Malcolm: I know, but I took care of that. He kept bugging me, so I gave him some food coloring and told him they were chemicals.
Reese: [runs in] Guys, guys! I've made a discovery! When you mix blue and yellow, you get an entirely new color! I'm gonna name it... [holds up vial of green liquid] "blellow."
Quote from Stevie
Reese: What's that? Ah. The stink of failure.
Malcolm: Okay, Reese. We give up. Just tell us what you did and we'll give you credit.
Reese: Okay, just sign this.
Malcolm: "Reese is a full partner in this experiment and is entitled to a full share of the credit because without his help, this would have been impossible."
[Malcolm signs the paper and hands it to Stevie to sign]
Stevie: Outwitted... by a dumb ass.
Quote from Goodbye Kitty
Dewey: Mom, I have a proposal for you. Now, before you start poking holes in it, I'd like you to hear me out. All I want is no more school and no more big boy clothes. I'd liked to be bathed and rocked before I go to sleep and have all my food mashed up. In return, I'll be adorable and...
Lois: Are you wearing a diaper?
Dewey: I want you to know my level of commitment. [clenches face]
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Quote from Dewey's Dog
Dewey: Ever since the day I was born, you guys have been torturing me. I remember you trying to switch me for another baby at the park. I remember you telling me the tooth fairy was a vampire. I remember every wet willy, every booger sandwich, every stink hat-
Reese: Dewey, we're sorry!
Dewey: ...every waffle butt, every Chester Backster and every purple nurple! And now you're going to pay. [Marshmallow barks]
Malcolm: Dewey, this isn't gonna work. Mom and Dad'll be home in a few hours, that dog will be gone, you'll be in trouble and we'll kick your ass for the next ten years!
Dewey: I know. So we'd better get started.
Malcolm: What do you want?
Dewey: Everything. I want everything.