Hal Quote #533
Quote from Hal in Lois' Sister
Lois: How was the park?
Hal: Oh, it was great. We had a blast. [places baby seat on table]
Lois: Hal.
Hal: I know, I know, he's filthy. I decided to let him out to crawl around in the dirt for a little while, he had so much fun rolling around with the other kids. Lois, you should have seen him.
Lois: Hal...
Hal: Lois, you can't treat the boy like he's made of glass. He'll be fine. We can clean him up. The important thing is that Jamie and I had fun together.
Lois: This isn't Jamie.
Hal: Huh. I know exactly who I switched him with.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Lois' Sister’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Susan: You know, Lois, usually when someone gives gifts, people say thank you.
Lois: Well, I'm sorry, this... sudden generosity, coming from you, is a little baffling.
Susan: Oh, I'm sorry that the concept of opening your heart and giving is so baffling to you.
Lois: I don't know, some people might not think of it as giving. Some people might think of it as just showing off.
Susan: Oh, here we go! We're only three hours in, and we've already received our first visit from the Queen Bee of Moral Superiority.
Lois: Oh, and here's the victim, right on schedule!
Susan: I became the victim on my prom night when I walked into the garage and caught my boyfriend having sex with my sister on the hood of my car!
Dewey: [whispers] Where do I look?
Malcolm: [whispers] There's nowhere to look.
[Susan runs out]
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: This is torture. The car's just sitting there and no one can drive it.
Reese: Yeah, it's like that hot nun who comes around every year for toy drive. You know what? We're not going to let Mom and Dad get away with this.
Malcolm: Forget it, Reese. Your bolt cutters can't handle that lock. And Dad's bolt cutters are in the garage.
Reese: It doesn't matter. You don't understand the power of my brain, Malcolm. It's like a deep ravine that sits in total darkness, but once in a while, just for a moment, a brilliant shaft of light shines directly down into it. And that is the moment I will think of a genius plan that will get us into that Mustang.
Malcolm: So the only way for us to get out of this situation is dependent on you being a genius?
Reese: Correct.
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: What do you think you're doing?!
Reese: Savoring the greatest achievement of a life that so far has had some pretty mixed results. Get in.
Malcolm: What exactly do you think you're going to accomplish in a car with no engine?
Reese: There's a kegger down at the field. They've been without us long enough. [lifts the brake]
Malcolm: Reese, you're insane!
Reese: Yeah, you could make an argument for that.
[After the car slides down the hill, Reese turns sharply on a dirt track where the party is being held.]
Reese: Hello, 24-hour party people!
Malcolm: Reese, you moron. I can't believe you think you're going to get away with...
Katie: Cool car.
Malcolm: '65 Mustang.