Lois Quote #413
Hal: Go ahead and say it. I know you're dying to.
Lois: [emotional] Why do I always have to be the fun killer?
Hal: What are you talking about?
Lois: Do you know what it's like to be the person in charge of saying "no" all the time? I hate it.
Hal: Honey, we depend on you for that. You're the one who keeps us from killing ourselves.
Lois: Yes, but all I ever hear is "Why can't we?" and "You never let us." Just once can't I be the person who gets to have the fun, crazy idea?
Hal: You know what? Absolutely. Go ahead. What do you have in mind?
Lois: Well, I can't come up with something just on the spot.
Doctor: [to Hal] Okay. This should stunt the algae growth. This should burn off your outer layer of skin. And these pills will gradually kill what's lodged in your urethra.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Hot Tub’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Lois: What is this?
Hal: It's a hot tub, Lois.
Lois: Are you out of your mind? We can't afford a hot tub.
Hal: That's what I said, too, but then the sales guy showed me how wrong I was. Boys, get out here!
Lois: Hal, I can't believe you did this without me. You know we always make these kinds of decisions together.
Hal: It was an in-store promotion. We got 20% off on the spot. Plus a tub club card, plus free caulking. And that's where they kill you, Lois - the caulking.
Quote from Reese
Reese: So you can shoot free throws better than me. Fine. Whatever. Big deal. That's all you've got on me. Can you stop a ceiling fan with your head? I didn't think so. And look at this. [holds up Popsicle in front of own face] My Popsicle's like twice the size of yours. What a score. I am totally...
Malcolm: Reese. [pulls Reese's Popsicle next to his]
Reese: Oh. Never mind.
Quote from Hal
Lois: Hal, you're taking it back.
Hal: What about the boys? Don't they get a say in this?
Dewey: Yeah, Mom, it'll be great for entertaining.
Lois: No, they do not get a say in this because we are not keeping it.
Hal: Well, we're... kind of locked in.
Lois: We're what?
Hal: Lois, you don't get deals like this without making a commitment. It's zero percent interest. If you factor in inflation, it's almost like they're paying us 2,800 bucks.
Lois: $2,800! I can't believe you! You went behind my back, you spent money you had no right to spend to buy a pile of lumber and tubes.
Hal: Don't worry. It has very detailed assembly instructions, which I won't go anywhere near because Malcolm's doing it.
Malcolm: I don't mind.