Malcolm: [to camera] Francis is home visiting with his wife, Piama. It's been so nice around here since they came.
Francis: Good dinner, Mom.
Lois: Please. It's completely overcooked. You must really be hurting for some decent cooking.
Malcolm: [to camera] See? Mom's so busy being mean to Piama, she doesn't even notice us. We've been getting away with murder.

Hal: [answers phone] Hello? Uh, hi, Claire. [whispers] It's my sister! Oh, God. I'm gonna hang up on her.
Lois: No, Hal. Find out what she wants.
Hal: So what's up? Uh-huh. Family reunion this weekend for my Dad's birthday. [on the phone] I'm sorry, Claire, but I'm having foot surgery, so we'll have to pass.
Lois: No, Hal, it's been too long already, we should go.
Hal: But you know what, my foot feels fine now. So, I'm going to cancel that surgery and we'll see you Saturday.
Lois: Wait a minute. They're inviting us only two days before we have to be there? Forget it, Hal. They don't want us there.
Hal: But you can never be too careful with feet.
Lois: Which is exactly why we should go.
Hal: What am I thinking? I've already had foot surgery. Okay, so we'll see you Saturday.

Hal: You know, I have always wanted to know how to castrate a bull calf. Tell me about it.
Francis: Well, it's fascinating stuff. We use this tool called a burdizzo. It looks like a giant pair of pliers. And the calf has to be restrained so that it doesn't kick... [time lapse] So once you cut off their blood supply, they shrivel up and are replaced by fat tissue.
Hal: What a great story, Francis. It really made the last hour and a half fly by.