Dewey: [as a Southern belle] I agree, Mrs. Wiggins. These pastries are delightful.
Hal: Son, whatcha doing?
Dewey: I'm having a tea party with Mrs. Bear and the ladies.
Hal: Oh, that's... good.
Dewey: Care to join us?
Hal: Yeah, I have actually, a... Hey, you know what, why don't we go buy that stealth bomber model you've been asking for?
Dewey: OK.
Hal: OK. [exits]
Dewey: Sometimes it's just too easy.

Mr. Herkabe: What is with the self-pity?! Albert Einstein had to carry spare pants until he was 24 and did he cry about it? No. He drew on that experience and helped build the first nuclear bomb. Now buck up and get in the van.

Mr. Herkabe: How are we doing, gentlemen? Everyone sticking to the experiment?
Kevin: Absolutely. Right on track, sir.
Mr. Herkabe: I know how tempting it is... to stray from a rigidly defined protocol. It's the siren's song of pure research but you must resist her seductive powers because...
All: Unstable compounds require stable minds. [walks off]
Stevie: Jackass.
Kevin: It's like he's talking to children. [puts a colorful liquid in the beaker]
[cut to:]
Kevin: It was a perfectly legitimate variation. There was less than a 48% chance this would happen.
Mr. Herkabe: Well, your cavalier disregard for the laws of the classroom, not to mention the laws of nature, have led to the inevitable. It will now take weeks to decontaminate that classroom. And during that time, you will all be placed back into the general population. [all gasp]
Dabney: We can't do that. The whole school hates us. They'll destroy us without realizing their rage is a projection of their own insecurities.
Mr. Herkabe: And as for me, I've been offered a temporary position in the phys ed department where I will get to wear a whistle... and dress in shorts! Of course, I'm sure none of this will be reflected in your grades.