Francis Quote #169
Francis: Hi. I'm Francis. Mr. Price said I should see you. [Lavernia is silent] Oh! I can't believe how cold it is up here! Course it is Alaska, but still... you'd think they could dome the place, or put tunnels in between the buildings. So, you must know my buddy Eric... Hansen. He's the one who set me up with logging job. [sighs] Do you give out the axes? 'cause I'm a lefty if that makes any difference? [Lavernia holds up a broom] What's that?
Lavernia: It's a broom, genius. Now, grab an apron, sweep out my pantry, and quit starin' at my bosom!
Francis: No, you don't understand. Um, I came here to work as a logger.
Lavernia: Let me tell you a little something about loggers. They're filthy, drunken, low-life swine, and you are their slave. You will feed them, do their laundry and clean out their privys. You don't steal, you don't back talk, and you don't socialize with the Eskimos.
Francis: Okay?
Lavernia: What'd I say about back-talk?
Francis: Eric?
Eric: Francis?!
Francis: What's goin' on? I thought you said
Eric: [sobs loudly]
Lavernia: [o.s.] I don't hear sweepin'!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Charity’ Quotes
Quote from Francis
Francis: This is ridiculous! The wolves had me tree-ed for half an hour. I've just about- Ow! You can't treat us like this! This is inhuman! We are citizens! This is America! Isn't it?
Quote from Hal
Hal: You've been stealing money from the church?!
Malcolm: And maybe some merchandise.
Hal: [gasps] You boys, you've been taking stereos, toys... Is that cheese? Oh. [flails] I need to sit. [gasps] Oh, my God!
Malcolm: Dewey, get a washcloth!
Hal: My boys are thiefs!
Reese: Here you go, Dad. [puts an oxygen mask in Hal's mouth] Nice and even.
Hal: You stole air?! What is wrong with you boys? Do you ever stop and think of the consequences of anything that you do?! Do you realize the shame you're going to bring on our entire family? Do you?!
Reese: Forget that, what's Mom gonna say?!
Quote from Reese
Reese: [changing channels] No. No. No. Wait. No. No.
Malcolm: Gimme that! [grabs remote] No. No. No. Wait. No. No.
Lois: Hi, boys. Got a second? You boys really have a pretty good life.
Malcolm: [to camera] Uh-oh.
Lois: You spend your days flying kites, playing video games. It's about time you found something to do to enrich your lives.
Reese: When did we have kites?!
Lois: I could never live with myself if my boys grew up to be selfish little pigs. So I decided to volunteer you to do a little charity work. You can choose between helping old people, or helping poor people. [the boys are silent] Or I can make you do both.
Reese: Okay. Old people. [Malcolm nudges Reese] What can be bad about old people? [Malcolm whispers in Reese's ear] Poor people! We want poor people!