Spangler: Leaving so soon, cadet?
Francis: Sir, by statute 614 of the Alabama Legal Code, I am officially emancipated and considered an adult. An adult who no longer chooses to attend Marlin Academy. I have copies of the documents if you want to see them again.
Spangler: Oh, no need! I'm sure everything was done on the up and up. But let me tell you something, cadet. In all my years at this academy, I have never had a student who was more bull headed, more committed to avoid learning at all costs. A cadet whose constant byword was insubordination. Thank you, cadet. [hugs Francis]
Francis: What?
Spangler: Before you came to this academy I was bored, uninspired... [holds up hook] and this close to retiring. But your insolence and stupidity have been the irritating grain of sand around which has formed the pearl of my renaissance. I like me again. Cadet! As a thanks, I want you to have this. [holds a sword] Normally, these are reserved for cadets who have distinguished themselves or whose parents have donated a building, but you've left your mark here in your own way. So, what the heck!
Francis: Wow! [takes sword out of sheath] Sir, this is great.
Spangler: Farewell, cadet.
Francis: Thank you so much.
Spangler: Careful that's razor-
[cut to Spangler writing on a type-writer with his new right-hand hook]

Mr. Herkabe: Who's Dabney?
Dabney: Me, sir. I took the liberty of ordering you a decaf soy latte.
Mr. Herkabe: Let me guess. Emotionally needy. Closet bed-wetter. You get no affection at home so you'll be seeking it from me. Look elsewhere, son. Who's the anal-retentive outsider [many hands go up]... with repressed matricidal tendencies?
Kevin: That one's from me, sir. Please, stop.
Mr. Herkabe: As you may or may not know I was once one of you, a Krelboyne. And I'm sure I would have made the same lame attempt to ingratiate myself to the new soft-headed thick-wit teaching my class. Oh, yes, I've been there. I've been coddled and preened. "Oh, you're a genius." "You can do anything you set your mind to. It must be so easy being you." Well, bull! [all gasp] All that gets you is an ex-wife and 14 million dollars in debt. Now, I refuse to let you fall into the trap society has set for you. Playtime is over, children! You've had a free ride so far. It's about time somebody motivated you, challenged you, tested your mental limits! Granted, I don't have a teaching certificate from a two-year community college like most of the people I was forced to say hello to this morning in the teachers lounge, but I'm just going to muddle through with my double doctorate from Harvard.
Lloyd: This is a test!
Mr. Herkabe: Correct. You have 20 minutes.
Dabney: There are six essay questions.
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, I thought this was the gifted class. Begin!

Lois: Francis. I'm listening.
Francis: This is what you get! This is what you get for the way you treated me! I'm going to Alaska and you're going to be left without a son! And the horrible way you treated me is now a matter of public record!
Lois: I treated you?! We made sacrifice after sacrifice for you and you've caused us nothing but pain!
Francis: You want pain? I've got your scars, baby! Three and half years in that horrible school-
Lois: We went without for that school!
Francis: Oh! Oh! Maybe I should thank you? Thank you, mother, for making my life hell!
Lois: Living hell? You've been nothing but a problem since the day you were born!
Francis: I'm outta here!