Lois Quote #20
Hal: All I'm saying is that you were the one who wore those jeans with that rip above the knee.
Lois: Hal, if I got rid of everything that made you hot and bothered, I'd be running around with a handkerchief and a baseball cap. [Hal thinks about that] Stop it.
Hal: What do you want from me?! I'm only human.
Lois: Oh, please. The minute you cross that threshold into the bedroom, you become more beast than man.
Hal: Fine, everything is my fault!
Lois: Oh, great. Here come the waterworks.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Flashback’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
[flashback:]
Hal: Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay, uh... I, I- I- I love, I love how your neck smells in the morning.
Lois: Okay. That's one.
Hal: I love how every one of your toes looks like it came from another person's foot.
Lois: Oh, God.
Hal: And- And- And I love how you're honest and-and fearless and, and how when I'm sick you treat me like a baby.
Lois: Okay, that last one counts for two. You got three more to go.
Hal: Okay.
Lois: I can tell you that I just adore this. The way your forehead gets all crinkly when you're worried.
Hal: And I love the way you cut your crust off your toast even though you end up eating both anyway.
Lois: I love your loyalty and your kindness and that you still suck in your gut whenever I walk into the room.
Hal: [chuckles] I love how you didn't dump me when you found out that I was in love with you.
Lois: [chuckles] I love that you still married me even after you met my parents. [laughs]
Hal: And I love that nothing in my life... Not cribbage with my dad... Not a... a new Van Halen album. Not even an old Van Halen album, for that matter, or any of their solo albums...
Lois: Hal, Hal.
Hal: I love that nothing in my life is complete until I've shared it with you.
Quote from Hal
Malcolm: Dad, Francis has to go back to school tomorrow. Can't we at least watch what he wants?
Hal: This is educational. It's a celebration of the human spirit. It shows we can always find a way to persevere no matter how many times we're defeated. No, don't put on the rocket skates.
Lois: Hal, can I see you in the bedroom?
Hal: Yeah, yeah, just a second, honey, the coyote...
Lois: Hal.
Quote from Francis
Francis: How long does it take to get me a soda, Dewey?
Dewey: Mom and Dad are fighting.
Francis: Really? Well, don't worry, chief. Everything will be fine. Trust me. You know what will take your mind off it? Making me a sandwich.