Lois Quote #777
Quote from Lois in Evacuation
Malcolm: I quit this stupid system. The only reason I'm being punished like this is because I agreed to be punished like this. And I'm not going to agree anymore. This isn't parenting. This is just sadism.
Lois: Oh, you think I enjoy this?
Malcolm: Yes, I do. And I am way too old for this. We are going to find some other way of dealing with each other. We are going to change the rules. What were you planning to do? Take away my TV when I'm married? Give me a time-out when I'm 30? [Lois glares at Malcolm] What? Am I supposed to be scared? What are you going to do, spank me?
Lois: Okay. [grabs Malcolm's hand]
Malcolm: Mom, what are you doing? Mom, cut it out. I don't know what you think you're doing. [to camera] How did she get so strong?
[Lois lays Malcolm over her legs and raises her arm. As she swings her hand down to spank Malcolm, her hand stops and then gives Malcolm a gentle pat. The crowd gasp anyway. The boy drops Malcolm's shoe.]
Lois: When I can't do this, we'll change the rules.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Evacuation’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Reese: I got to tell you, Malcolm, sometimes I'm so good, it's scary.
Malcolm: What are you doing with toilet paper?
Reese: I got my hands on some canned fruit. I traded those for batteries, the batteries for DVDs. And I swapped those with the janitor for the school's entire supply of toilet paper. Once the specially "seasoned" meat loaf works its magic, I can name my price.
Malcolm: You know, that's not only unbelievably evil but you actually put some thought and effort into it. I'm impressed.
Reese: I don't know what it is. I guess when people are miserable and suffering, it brings out the best in me. Thanks for noticing.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Hey, Dewey, want to go with me to take the old couch to the dump?
Dewey: No, I want to watch cartoons.
Hal: What, are you kidding? We're talking about the city dump. Mountains of smoldering garbage as far as you can see. Swarms of flies that block out the sun.
Dewey: Really?
Hal: Mmm. Last time I was there, I saw a 40-pound seagull carry off a dog in its beak.
Quote from Hal
Hal & Dewey: [sing] When we get to the garbage dump This is what we'll see
Dewey: Five broken toilets
Hal: Four fuzzy cheese wheels
Dewey: Three tons of maggots
Hal: Two gigantic rats
Both: And a stench that will buckle your knees.
Hal: Yahoo!