Reese: I got to tell you, Malcolm, sometimes I'm so good, it's scary.
Malcolm: What are you doing with toilet paper?
Reese: I got my hands on some canned fruit. I traded those for batteries, the batteries for DVDs. And I swapped those with the janitor for the school's entire supply of toilet paper. Once the specially "seasoned" meat loaf works its magic, I can name my price.
Malcolm: You know, that's not only unbelievably evil but you actually put some thought and effort into it. I'm impressed.
Reese: I don't know what it is. I guess when people are miserable and suffering, it brings out the best in me. Thanks for noticing.

Hal & Dewey: [sing] When we get to the garbage dump This is what we'll see
Dewey: Five broken toilets
Hal: Four fuzzy cheese wheels
Dewey: Three tons of maggots
Hal: Two gigantic rats
Both: And a stench that will buckle your knees.
Hal: Yahoo!

Eric: Come on. You've done way worse to me. You totally deserve this.
Francis: Based on what?
[flashback to Francis and Eric playing pool in a bar:]
Francis: [to two burly guys] Will you Jethros just shut up!? Nobody cares how many bales of hay you can lift!
[flashback to Francis and Eric painting the walls of Marlin Academy with tiny brushes:}
Francis: So, now we know-- pigs can swim, cows can't.
[flashback to Francis and Eric being detained by two police officers:]
Francis: This is ridiculous. When did the word "Fascist" become such a hot button?
[present:]
Francis: I have been nothing but a good friend to you.
Eric: Look, Francis, I'm not going to argue. You'll do this or I'll punch your face through the back of your head.
Francis: See, every time I trump you with logic, you resort to violence. I just want that on the record.