Hal Quote #959

Quote from Hal in Evacuation

Hal: [opens door] Oh, boy, Reese, what'd you do?!
Capt. James: Sir, we have to evacuate the entire neighborhood. I need you to leave your house immediately.
Hal: What... evacuating? Why?
Capt. James: There's been a toxic chemical spill about a mile away. A train derailed.
Hal: How'd that happen?
Capt. James: Some idiot left a couch on the railroad tracks.
Dewey: I wonder if that was...
Hal: [shoves ice cream into Dewey's mouth] Careful, son. Don't want to drip.

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 ‘Evacuation’ Quotes

Quote from Reese

Reese: I got to tell you, Malcolm, sometimes I'm so good, it's scary.
Malcolm: What are you doing with toilet paper?
Reese: I got my hands on some canned fruit. I traded those for batteries, the batteries for DVDs. And I swapped those with the janitor for the school's entire supply of toilet paper. Once the specially "seasoned" meat loaf works its magic, I can name my price.
Malcolm: You know, that's not only unbelievably evil but you actually put some thought and effort into it. I'm impressed.
Reese: I don't know what it is. I guess when people are miserable and suffering, it brings out the best in me. Thanks for noticing.

Quote from Hal

Hal: Hey, Dewey, want to go with me to take the old couch to the dump?
Dewey: No, I want to watch cartoons.
Hal: What, are you kidding? We're talking about the city dump. Mountains of smoldering garbage as far as you can see. Swarms of flies that block out the sun.
Dewey: Really?
Hal: Mmm. Last time I was there, I saw a 40-pound seagull carry off a dog in its beak.

Quote from Hal

Hal & Dewey: [sing] When we get to the garbage dump This is what we'll see
Dewey: Five broken toilets
Hal: Four fuzzy cheese wheels
Dewey: Three tons of maggots
Hal: Two gigantic rats
Both: And a stench that will buckle your knees.
Hal: Yahoo!