Lois Quote #176
Quote from Lois in Tutoring Reese
Malcolm: [to camera] This is what we call a "level four" rage. The only way not to get nailed is to make no sudden moves and avoid eye contact at all costs.
[As the boys try to eat their cereal without looking up at Lois, Reese accidentally clatters his spoon and makes eye contact.]
Lois: And you... You think just because you hide the note, the parent-teacher meeting will just go away?
Reese: Mom, Mr. Woodward is totally out to get me.
Lois: Every teacher since kindergarten has been out to get you.
Reese: I know. It upsets me, too.
[Malcolm senses an opportunity and drags the cereal box from near Dewey, placing it in front of his own face as a shield. As Dewey tries to take it back, the pair struggle over the box. Hal enters, whistling.]
Lois: Why is the drain still clogged?
[The kids have vanished.]
Hal: Uh, honey, there was a, you know... I was only seconds away from... It's a funny thing, see... Oh, what a mess! Look at that! That is a milk ring on the table. [exits]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Tutoring Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: [to Malcolm] You took that test, didn't you? You cheated... [to Reese] You let him cheat for you? [to Mr. Woodward] You gave something he wrote an "F"?! [thunder cracks] You are out to get him! Oh, I can't wait to see you expelled or disbarred or whatever it is they do to creepy little men who abuse their power.
Mr. Woodward: There is no need for name-calling. I suggest we just leave things as they are...
Lois: Oh, I don't think so.
Mr. Woodward: Here's the situation: if you notify the school, then the school will find out Malcolm cheated. He'll be expelled.
Lois: Don't you threaten me.
Mr. Woodward: This isn't a threat. I just don't think you'd throw away the son who achieves for... well, Reese.
Lois: You don't think I'd sacrifice this one? [Mr. Woodward shakes his head] Let me explain something to you. I would sell Malcolm down the river in a heartbeat to save Reese.
Malcolm: What?
Lois: Malcolm's gonna be fine no matter what happens. Maybe he'll have to go to junior college or start off blue collar, but he'll work his way up to management eventually. Reese is the one who needs saving.
Mr. Woodward: I don't believe you. No mother could ever be that callous to her own son.
Francis: [yells through the window] Mom, please let me come home! I'm cold and I'm hungry! Please, I'll fix the roof! I'll paint the house, I'll do anything, Mom! Please, just let me live indoors, Mom! Please, I want to be warm again! Mom, please!
Mr. Woodward: Maybe we can work something out. [Francis wails]
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: Look, I don't like this any better than you do. Let's just get it over with. Dude, this book's totally wrecked. What did you do to it?
Reese: I threw it at a duck.
Malcolm: Well, where's your math book?
Reese: Which half?
Malcolm: We'll just start with geography, then.
Reese: I don't take geography!
Malcolm: Yes, you do. You got a grade in it.
Reese: Oh, that can't be good.
Quote from Francis
Francis: Finally, Mom found the courage to speak her mind.
Lois: Why aren't you fixing that roof?
Francis: It's 40 degrees out there. I'll freeze. And it's going to rain.
Lois: That's why you have to fix the roof.
Francis: Well, maybe if you didn't buy such crappy shingles, it wouldn't leak all the time.
Lois: Francis, as long as you are in this house, you will do as I say.
Francis: You know what, Mom? No. I'm too old to be bullied by you. Our whole lives, you have done nothing but dictate what you wanted. You're the boss of the world, and we're all sick of it. This may be your roof, but we live here, too. We are human beings with rights...
[cut to Francis outside delivering his speech:]
Francis: ...and I'm hereby putting an end to your reign of terror. [to a homeless man on a park bench] You should have seen the look on her face. It was totally worth it.